Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.
Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?
How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Nowadays,many of us prefer to spend a lot of money buying supplements,even if the doctors said that we can get those essentials we need from healthy lifestyle.In this essay,I will discuss why a lot of people tend to spend large amount of money on buying vitamin capsules.
On the first hand,many people use to alot a budget on those suplements because they dont have a capability to follow a healthy diet,for example,one of the easiest wanay to get vitamin D is by means of sunbathe every early morning,but how could this be made by people whos working on night shift and after work they want to go home immediately to have their rest.
On the other hand,how to encourage people to enhance their diet rather than buying nurishments.In this matter,theres a lot of factors to consider such as availability of a person to perform an exercise,willingness of individual to follow strictly some healthy lifestyle,etc.
In my opinion,having physically fit bodies and good health can lead to us to not spend on some artificial nutrients however it is better to take those supplements rather than to dont support our body needs by taking some vitamin pills.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
You make a relevant attempt to address both questions: you suggest that work schedules can make a healthy diet difficult, and you mention exercise and willingness as factors in changing habits. However, the reasons people spend money on pills are only briefly explained, and the second question is not answered with clear persuasion strategies. For example, “availability of a person to perform an exercise” does not explain how people could be encouraged to eat better. Your final opinion is also unclear because it says supplements may be preferable to not supporting the body, rather than directly recommending diet over pills. The response is 55 words below the required minimum, which limits the development of your ideas. Add specific, practical measures and examples to address both parts fully.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response has a basic paragraph structure, and “On the first hand” and “On the other hand” signal a shift between the two questions. However, the progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from spending on supplements to a sunbathing example without clearly explaining the connection, while the second lists factors rather than developing a line of reasoning. The introduction promises to discuss why people buy capsules but does not clearly preview the answer to the persuasion question. Some linking phrases are also used mechanically or inaccurately, and the conclusion does not clearly resolve the discussion. Organise each body paragraph around one main point, explain it, and connect examples explicitly to that point.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “supplements,” “vitamin D,” “healthy diet,” and “artificial nutrients,” so the reader can identify the subject. There is also an attempt to use less common expressions such as “large sums of money.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or spellings make the meaning less clear, including “suplements,” “wanay,” “nurishments,” and “alot.” Phrases such as “a capability to follow a healthy diet” and “availability of a person to perform an exercise” are not natural in this context. Aim for accurate, familiar collocations before trying more elaborate wording, and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary for causes and solutions would also help you explain your ideas.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “even if” and a question embedded in the example about night-shift workers. However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors sometimes make the intended meaning harder to follow. For instance, “even if the doctors said” does not fit the present-time meaning, and “people whos working” has an incorrect relative clause and verb form. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and infinitive forms in “a lot of people tend to spend large amount” and “rather than to dont support.” Punctuation and spacing around commas are inconsistent. Practise building accurate clauses first, then combine them using conjunctions and relative clauses.
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