Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Taking vitamins is very essential to maintain a healthy body. While some people believes that vitamins can be acquired through the foods we eat, other's argue that taking vitamin pills are more ideal and effective. This has been a huge debate in the medical field.

Firstly, people opted to buy these kind of medicines because of the influence of advertisements. Many pharmaceutical companies and even professionals from medical fields persuades consumers to avail the product because of its proven efficacy. Some individual believes that this is only a marketing strategy to gain popularity and earn pofitably. Additionally, most of the people prefers convenience. As a result, they would rather take the pill instantly rather than spending time trying to research and cook nutrient-dense food. In addition, people tend to purchase these pills due to the fact that it is "widely known". In short, they want to follow the crowd. This should be coorrected and people should know that taking vitamin pills has no significant importance.

Hence, individuals should be knowledgeable that improving one's diet through eating balanced healthy and exercising are of paramount in maintaining a heathy body. Government should find ways to edify and enlighten the citizens. For example, the government must conduct knowledgeable seminars on healthy foods and proper exercise.Also,teachers can also play a significant role in educating learners such as integrating this to their lessons. In conclusion, instead of spending large sums of money, people should be more practical. For many people, the convenience of vitamins pill outweighs its lack of nutritional value.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both questions: advertising, perceived effectiveness, convenience and following popular behaviour are offered as reasons for buying pills, while government seminars and school lessons are suggested as ways to encourage healthier habits. These points are relevant, and the response has a clear general direction. However, some ideas are asserted rather than explained. For example, the claim that pills have “no significant importance” is too absolute and is not supported, and the proposed seminars are not developed with details about how they might change people’s choices. The final sentence also shifts back to the value of pills rather than reinforcing the proposed solution. Explain the causes and practical impact of each recommendation more fully, and keep the conclusion consistent with your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an opening, a paragraph on reasons, and a paragraph on possible solutions. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Additionally,” and “For example” help readers follow the main points. However, some links feel mechanical, and several ideas are crowded together in the reasons paragraph. The reference in “This should be corrected” is unclear, while “Hence” does not clearly show how the preceding discussion leads to the recommendations. The conclusion is also difficult to reconcile with the argument because it says vitamin pills’ convenience outweighs their lack of nutritional value. Use clearer links between cause and solution, make references explicit, and ensure the final statement follows from the position developed in the essay.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “pharmaceutical companies,” “convenience,” “nutrient-dense food,” and “balanced” diet. These choices show an attempt to discuss health and consumer behaviour beyond basic terms. Some less natural or inaccurate expressions, however, reduce precision: “avail the product,” “earn pofitably,” and “of paramount in maintaining” do not express the intended meanings idiomatically. There are also spelling errors such as “coorrected” and “heathy,” and “vitamins pill” is an inaccurate form. Aim for natural collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise language would also help distinguish between supplements, a healthy diet, and exercise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a contrast introduced by “While” and a reason-result construction with “As a result.” The main message is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Subject–verb agreement is inconsistent in “some people believes,” “companies … persuades,” and “most of the people prefers.” There are also problems with articles, plurals, and sentence construction, as in “these kind of medicines,” “vitamins pill,” and “balanced healthy.” The sentence “improving one’s diet through eating balanced healthy and exercising are…” has an unclear structure and agreement. Review agreement and noun phrases, and proofread punctuation and spacing, especially around “exercise.Also” and “lessons.”

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