Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many medical practiotioners have counselled citizens on the essential values of healthy dietary modification through good vitamins intake.Although other individuals contend to spend huge sum of money on pruchasing vitamin pills particularly because of changes in their body system as we will discuss in this essay.

There are those who contend to spending huge amount of money on vitamin pills regardless of the doctors advice. This is particularly by loss of appetite and dehydration caused by stress. For example, Syrup Astymin is a branded medication which serves as an multivitamin,also an appetiter to the body to enable adequate food intake.

However, I believe this is a considerable benefits for humans in regards to gaining weight and diet intake.Adequate feedind with help in the body development.For instance,people who indulge in strenous activities tend to limit themselves to proper fluid and food intake for hydration due to the responsibilites and meeting a deadline.Residents believe purchasing this vitamin pills is a good effect on them,I partially agree to this view.

In my opinion,there are few ways to improve healthy diet to the people rather than precuring some vitamin pills by developing good physical fitness.Regular physical fitness and exercise is one of the significant ways to improve the body system. For instance,the gym is a good place to start your daily workout.Thereby reducing stress in the society.In addition, I strongly recommend locally cooked foods because individuals will get lots of raw nutrient without any preservatives.As this is more healthier

In conclusion,Doctors adviced the people on ways to get vitamins from a healthy diet modification.Neverthelesss, some people defied this adivice by investing their money on vitamin pills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both questions: you suggest that people buy supplements because of appetite loss and stress, and you recommend exercise and locally prepared food as alternatives. However, the reasons for spending money on pills are not clearly explained or sufficiently developed; the Astymin example describes a product but does not show why people choose it over dietary changes. The response also shifts into arguing that pills have benefits, rather than consistently explaining the causes of their popularity and how people could be persuaded to eat better. Your position is therefore not fully clear. To strengthen the response, explain specific motivations—such as convenience, advertising, or a belief that pills work faster—and give practical persuasion measures, such as nutrition education or affordable healthy-food options.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some paragraphing, and the response moves from possible reasons for taking supplements to alternatives and then a conclusion. Basic signposting such as “However,” “In addition,” and “In conclusion” helps readers recognise these stages. Nevertheless, the overall progression is difficult to follow because the second body paragraph introduces the benefits of pills and partial agreement, which interrupts the explanation of why people buy them. Connections between ideas are sometimes unclear, as in the move from strenuous activity to purchasing pills. Some linking phrases are also used mechanically, and the final sentence of the diet paragraph is incomplete. Give each paragraph one clear purpose, order supporting points logically, and use explicit links to show how each example supports the main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “healthy dietary modification,” “multivitamin,” “physical fitness,” and “preservatives.” These choices show an effort to discuss health and nutrition beyond very basic terms. However, several inaccurate or unnatural expressions make parts of the message harder to understand, such as “essential values,” “an appetiter,” “raw nutrient,” and “a good effect on them.” Spelling errors, including “practitioners,” “purchasing,” and “responsibilities,” are also noticeable. Some phrases are repeated, particularly “vitamin pills” and “healthy diet.” Aim for precise, natural collocations and check spelling; for example, explain that supplements may seem convenient or that a balanced diet provides essential nutrients.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “Although” and a reason introduced by “because.” However, complex sentences are often faulty or incomplete, and frequent errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “Although other individuals contend to spend…” is not a complete, well-formed contrast, while “As this is more healthier” is a fragment with an incorrect comparative structure. There are also recurring problems with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, as in “serves as an multivitamin, also an appetiter.” Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check articles, verb forms, and punctuation before submitting.

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