Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The matter of taking vitamins regularly has become wide spread problem in various parts of the world.While many individuals are in favor of taking vitamins through pills,others peole including doctors believe that consuming better diets is beneficial for public health.I think,public awareness could be effect to inform the people and make their minds to use natural diets in order to improve their heath issues. There are manys ways to alleviate this problem, One of the main way is to awareness of people about the negative affects of using medicine countinually. Allthough, these vitamins provides necessary nutrants for the body but these pills also have side effects,which are very harmful for our health.These tpyes of medicies first of all effects your kidneys and stomach, because these two parts of which directly deal with these pills,and thus after all body. Secondly. government sould launch a campaign about the dangers of regular use of medicine related to vitamines.For example,Minstry of health should regularly shoe advertisement in which the discribe the benefits of using healthy diet instead of medicine to boast the body defficiencies,on television and internet.In this way will become more concious about the danger of using excess medicines, and thus may start eating more healthy diet and aviod eating junk foods,fast foods and foods they are rich in salt and sugar. IN conclusion, it not easy to deal with globle problem. I think there only way to convince people to use more healthy diet than pills.i think people shoul come forward to minimise this problem,without theirhel

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both questions, but the response focuses much more on persuading people to change their diet than on explaining why they buy vitamin pills. You suggest that public awareness and government campaigns could promote healthy eating, and the example of health-ministry advertisements gives one practical measure. However, the reasons for spending money on pills are not clearly developed; the opening only says that some people favour them. The discussion of side effects also shifts towards warning against pills rather than explaining consumers’ motivations. To strengthen the response, explain likely reasons—such as convenience, advertising, or a belief that supplements work quickly—and support each main idea with a relevant example. Make your position and proposed solutions clearer throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some organisation: the response opens with an introduction, uses “Secondly” to introduce another proposal, and ends with a conclusion. The ideas about awareness and government campaigns are relevant and can be followed. However, progression is uneven because the first body section moves from awareness to side effects without clearly connecting these points to the question about why people buy pills. Some linking is mechanical or inaccurate, as in “Allthough” and “In this way,” while the long, crowded sections make relationships between ideas harder to see. Paragraphing and punctuation are also inconsistent. Give each paragraph one clear purpose, use topic sentences to signal it, and connect examples explicitly to the point they support.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to health and public policy, including “public awareness,” “side effects,” “campaign,” and “deficiencies.” This gives you some useful topic language, but the range is limited and errors in spelling, word form, and collocation are noticeable enough to make parts difficult to read. Examples include “wide spread problem,” “negative affects,” “nutrants,” and “boast the body defficiencies.” Some expressions are also imprecise, such as “medicine related to vitamines,” which obscures the distinction between medicines and supplements. Build a bank of accurate health-related collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise phrasing would help you explain both consumers’ motivations and the proposed ways to change their behaviour.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast introduced by “While” and a cause-and-effect explanation beginning “because.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles, and punctuation can make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “There are manys ways” has an incorrect plural form, and “these vitamins provides” has subject–verb disagreement. The sentence beginning “In this way will become more concious” lacks a clear subject, while the final sentence is incomplete. Several sentences also run together without clear punctuation. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check agreement and sentence boundaries before adding more complex clauses.

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