Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Lifestyle met with huge transition these days .It also changed the mindset of people regarding healthy intake .They tend to purhase vitamins instead of eating healthy.Government can improve some factors which i will discuss in upcoming paragarphs.

Firstly,Social media influencers affecting the minds of people by showing off thier lean body and appreciating certain vitamins which persuade people to purchse it.Moreover,sedentary lifestyle is another big cause responsibe for this development.For example, people who do 9 to 5 jobs dosent have time to cook proper food so they intake pills to complete their vitamin needs.

To solve this issue goverment can organise some camps to alert people about the benefits of real healthy diet.Moreover, government should ban the sale of illegal or fake pills which can improve the health of individuals.Government can also lower the prices of grocery so people can affoard healthy food.As the healthier the people are the better the country grow.

In conclusion,taking vitamins in pills is caused by certain factors such as busy lifestyle and social media influence.This problem can be solved by goverment by making some amedments.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both questions: you identify social-media promotion and lack of time as reasons for buying pills, and suggest awareness campaigns, action against fake products, and cheaper groceries. These points are relevant, but they are only briefly explained. For example, you say influencers “persuade people to purchase” vitamins without explaining why their claims seem convincing or how this affects spending. The proposed solutions also need clearer links to changing people’s choices; banning illegal pills does not necessarily encourage a healthier diet. The conclusion repeats the main points rather than adding support. The response is 69 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop examples and explain your reasoning. Expand each main idea with a specific explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on causes, a paragraph on solutions, and a conclusion. This makes the main direction easy to follow. You also use signposts such as “Firstly,” “Moreover,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” to connect points. However, the progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, with several ideas introduced but not fully linked or explained. The opening says the government can improve “some factors,” but does not clearly preview the two parts of the discussion. The final sentence, “This problem can be solved by government by making some amendments,” is vague and does not specify which proposals it refers to. Develop clearer links between each claim, its explanation, and its example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “healthy diet,” “sedentary lifestyle,” “influencers,” and “vitamin needs,” and the reader can generally understand your ideas. There are, however, noticeable spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural word choices, such as “purhase,” “thier,” “responsibe,” and “affoard.” Some phrases are also vague or awkward: “healthy intake” and “making some amendments” do not express your meaning precisely. Repetition of “government,” “people,” and “healthy” limits the range. Aim to use accurate topic-specific collocations and check spelling carefully; for instance, explain that influencers promote supplements or that campaigns could encourage balanced eating, rather than relying on broad phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex structures, including “people who do 9 to 5 jobs…” and the comparison “As the healthier the people are the better the country grow.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences awkward or difficult to process. Examples include “people … dosent have time,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “the better the country grow,” which also has an agreement error. The opening contains a sentence fragment-like sequence and inconsistent spacing around punctuation, while “As the healthier…” is not correctly formed as a comparative clause. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and comparisons, checking agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries.

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