Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The trend of multivitamin intake is growing. Although the doctors always recommend us to fullfil our vitamins deficiency through healthy diet. Nevertheless, people spend a lot of their money on buying supplements rather than acting upon the advice of the doctor. This essay will illustrate the reasons behind this trend and how can we convince people to give preference to the intake of healthy diet instead of buying vitamin pills.

First and foremost, people spend a lot on buying vitamins. They do this under the influence of advertisements from different companies. Furthermore, when they hear about the immediate results of vitamin pills, they prefer to buy them without thinking their negative impacts on health. Additionally, people think that this is the quick and easier source of obtaining required nutrients rahter than healthy diet.

In contrast, there is a need to understand that these vitamin pills are not the healthy substitute for natural diet. Who knows the product actually contains that vitamin or not. Moreover, people need to understand that when they start taking these supplements, natural response system of their bodies is badly affected.Proper counselling is essential to make them understand that they should not follow this trend. If they try to improve their defieciency with intake of healthy diet. it will not only fullfill their required deficiency but also provide them with fibres and additional healthy nutrients which will benefit them.

To conclude, I would like to say that people should try to improve their diet. It will have better and long lasting affects on their health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both questions and maintains a relevant position: it identifies advertising, claims of quick results, and convenience as reasons for buying supplements, then recommends counselling and a healthier diet. These points are appropriate, but some are not developed enough to fully explain the issue. For example, the claim that pills may have “negative impacts on health” is not explained or supported, and the suggestion that supplements affect the body’s “natural response system” is unclear. The advice about improving diets would be stronger with specific ways to persuade people, such as public-health campaigns, clearer food guidance, or practical support for affordable healthy meals. The conclusion restates the preference for a better diet but adds little development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on reasons, a paragraph on persuasion, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “First and foremost,” “Furthermore,” and “To conclude” help signal the stages of the argument, and the reader can follow the main progression. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some features of stronger control. However, transitions can feel mechanical, particularly “In contrast,” which introduces advice rather than a contrasting viewpoint. Some connections between sentences are also unclear, as in “If they try to improve their defieciency with intake of healthy diet. it will not only…”; the full stop interrupts the relationship between the ideas. Use fewer formulaic transitions and connect each recommendation more explicitly to the problem it addresses.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “multivitamin intake,” “supplements,” “nutrients,” “advertisements,” and “counselling.” This is enough to communicate the main ideas, and some attempts at more formal language suit an essay. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, which makes the expression less precise: “fulfil our vitamins deficiency,” “quick and easier source,” and “long lasting affects” do not convey the intended meaning naturally. There are also spelling errors, including “rahter,” “defieciency,” and “fullfill.” Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling carefully; more precise phrasing would make the argument clearer without requiring unnecessarily complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

There is an attempt to use both simple and complex structures, including a concession with “Although” and a conditional beginning “If they try…”. The main message is generally understandable, but some sentence structures are incomplete or incorrectly joined. “Although the doctors always recommend us to…” is a dependent clause without a main clause, while “If they try to improve…” is also separated from its result by a full stop. Other examples include “how can we convince people,” where indirect-question word order is needed, and “people think that this is…” followed by an unclear reference. Punctuation and spacing also need attention, as in “affected.Proper counselling.” Practise complete clause structures, indirect questions, and sentence boundaries, then proofread for agreement and article use.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.