Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the morden era, nowadays mostly masses eat the vitamin pills. and doctors give a more pills because people like a eat piils without healthy food. In todays rapidly changing world, this issue has become a matter of considerable debate. I firmly agree with this statement. my inclination is elaborated in ensuing paragraphs.

The first and foremost argument to justify my point is that some people spend money on vitamin pills. because nowadays people spend time on office and come the house watch the moblie phones and tv. and do not exercise. rather than increase the obesity and healthy problem. after go the docter and docter eat the more tablets and vitamin pills. I think people like a spend time social media and other work. masses not like a physical activity and exercise. This doing the continue and not waste the money doctors.

The second argument is that people should a daliy exercise and eat the healthy food. new genration of avoid a junk food. Rather than reduce the money and improve a health. masses should a daliy eat the healthy and vegitiran food and every day exercise and yoga. Rather than reduce the tablets and pills. people should a notice on health. old people should a encourage the young childern for healthy food and reduce a vitamin pills and other tablets. they should a encourage the childern daily walk and yoga because yoga most important for health.

To conclude after pondering over deal of delibertion and thoughts. people should a eat healthy food and daily exercise improve the diet and avoid a junk food speicy food . masses should a after each day full body test and notice a every problem give the advice a doctors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You make an attempt to address both questions: you suggest that busy routines and limited exercise contribute to reliance on pills, and recommend healthy food, exercise, yoga, and encouragement from older people. However, the explanation of why people spend money on supplements is unclear and does not directly explain the choice of pills; the discussion shifts mainly to phones, inactivity, and obesity. The suggestions for persuading people are also listed rather than explained—for example, you do not say how families or other influences could effectively change people’s choices. The opening claim that you “firmly agree with this statement” does not establish a clear position on the two questions. Develop a direct reason for supplement use and explain how your proposed measures would persuade people.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable paragraph structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The second body paragraph broadly focuses on solutions, which helps the reader identify the essay’s two main areas. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from office work to phones, exercise, obesity, and doctors without clearly showing how these points connect to spending on pills. Connect each idea explicitly and organise each paragraph around one central point. Linking phrases such as “The first and foremost argument” and “The second argument” are repetitive and sometimes do not accurately describe the relationship between ideas. The conclusion repeats recommendations but does not clearly summarise the reasons or answer both questions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to health and lifestyle, including “vitamin pills,” “healthy food,” “obesity,” “physical activity,” and “encourage.” This gives the response a basic set of terms for the topic. However, the range is limited and many words or phrases are repeated, particularly “people,” “healthy,” “pills,” and “exercise.” Frequent spelling errors, such as “morden,” “moblie,” “docter,” and “genration,” also make the writing less clear. Some combinations are difficult to understand, including “docter eat the more tablets” and “notice on health.” Build a more precise vocabulary for explaining supplement use and persuasion, and check spelling and natural word combinations when revising.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There are attempts to form longer sentences and give reasons, but sentence structures are very limited and errors occur frequently, sometimes making the intended meaning hard to follow. For example, “people spend time on office and come the house watch the moblie phones and tv” lacks clear grammatical links, while “old people should a encourage the young childern” has an incorrect verb pattern. Articles, prepositions, verb forms, and sentence boundaries are often inaccurate; the opening also begins a new sentence with lowercase “and,” and several fragments are joined with full stops. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine related ideas using “because,” “so,” and “which.” Check that each sentence has a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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