Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modern era, people are spending a great amount of money on vitamin pills, despite the advise they get from doctors, that they can get all nutrients from having a balance diet. The reason behind that is people want fast results. To stop this trend government can educate people about the benfits of a healthy diet and side-effects of vitamin pills.

To start with the reason that is people want to improve their health in short time period. When someone told by doctor that they have deficient of vitamins, patients think that they can overcome this problem by taking vitamins in few days. On the other hand if they chose to have balance diet to improve their vitamin deficiency that may take few months. As a result people chose easy and fast way to solve this problem. For example, in this busy life people do not have time for rest also no time to spend on their health issues they chose the fastest method to mitigate these health problems.

Government can play a significat role in this situation by educating people about the benefits of healthy food also by telling future side-effects of cemical based supliments. When people will get information related food and cost comparision between balance diet and vitamin pills they they will realise which option is better. Eventually they will start foucs on healthy diet to improve their health. For instance, government give instructions to doctors to explain benefits to the patients in simple a language so they can understand the advantages and select the best way.

In conclusion, although vitamin pills are expensive, people still buy them to get fastest results in order to improve their health. Governement can educate people by explaining pro and cons of vitamin pills also can promote healty diet so people can stop buying expensive vitamin pills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both questions and maintain a clear overall position: people choose pills for speed and convenience, while public education could encourage healthier eating. The explanation that a diagnosed deficiency may seem quicker to treat with supplements is relevant, and the example of busy people supports the convenience point. However, some ideas are less fully developed than others. The claim that a balanced diet may take “few months” is not explained or qualified, and the proposed government campaign focuses mainly on information rather than showing how it would persuade people in practice. Develop this by explaining, for example, how doctors could give tailored dietary advice or how public campaigns could make healthy meals seem practical and affordable.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, one paragraph explaining the reason, one proposing a solution, and a conclusion. The progression from the perceived speed of pills to education about diet is easy to follow, and phrases such as “As a result” and “For instance” help signal relationships between ideas. This already gives the essay a coherent structure. Some linking is mechanical, however, with repeated patterns such as “To start with” and “For example,” and the second body paragraph moves quickly from education to cost comparison and doctors’ instructions. Make the links between these points more explicit and use referencing more precisely; for instance, clarify what “this situation” refers to and connect each proposed measure to how it would change people’s choices.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “vitamin deficiency,” “side-effects,” “supplements,” and “mitigate,” so the main ideas are generally clear. There are also attempts to express cause and effect, such as “fastest method to mitigate these health problems.” However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “benfits,” “significat,” “cemical,” “supliments,” and “foucs.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “balance diet,” “cost comparision,” and “future side-effects.” Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations as complete phrases. Prefer precise, natural expressions such as “a balanced diet,” “compare the costs,” and “possible long-term side effects.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “if they chose to have balance diet … that may take few months” and a contrast introduced by “although” in the conclusion. The overall meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors occur across the response. Examples include “When someone told by doctor” (missing auxiliary and article), “they have deficient of vitamins” (incorrect construction), and “people chose” where the present-tense context calls for “choose.” There are also problems with articles and sentence construction, as in “in simple a language.” Review verb forms, articles, and the structure of passive sentences. Building accurate complex sentences before adding further complexity will make your ideas clearer.

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