Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The bar chart depicts the percentage of residents having owned and rented shelter in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011.
Overall,it is clear that the householders with their own houses experience a decline in starting years and then gradually rose up within the whole period whereas,the percentage of residents with rented house showed a gradual decline.
On the one hand, in the year 1918 the number of householders in rented accommodation showed a significant growth by almost 79 percent in contrast with the percentage of householders having their own residence with only 21 percent. From the year 1939 to 1961 the percentage of householders with rented shelters declined slightly as compared to the percentage of house owners that showed a gradual rise.In the year 1971 both householders showed an equal amount of proportion.
On the sharp contrast to the householders with rental accommodation,the ratio of percentage rose sharply to 69 percent till the year 2001 and then slightly fell to almost 65 percent in the year 2011 ,following that the figure of residents with their own shelter declined gradually till the year 2001 with only 30 percent and then fluctuates and again showed a slight increase of 5 percent.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The student attempts to address the task by describing the main trends in the bar chart regarding owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011. However, there are significant factual inaccuracies and misreadings of the data. For instance, the student states that in 1918 rented accommodation was 'almost 79 percent' (which is approximately correct for rented, at 77%), but then claims owned accommodation was only '21 percent' (actual is 23%) and later confuses the trends between the two categories, stating that the figure of residents with their own shelter 'declined gradually till the year 2001 with only 30 percent' when in fact ownership rose sharply to 69% by 2001. Due to these major data misinterpretations and confusion between the two data series, the response falls into the lower band.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The response is divided into paragraphs, attempting an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the logical progression is severely disrupted by confusing relational markers and contradictory statements. Phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the sharp contrast' are misused and fail to structure the comparisons effectively. Furthermore, referencing is weak and confusing, making it difficult for the reader to follow which data series is being discussed. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs is faulty and mechanical.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The student uses a basic and repetitive vocabulary with several inappropriate word choices and collocations. Examples include 'having owned and rented shelter', 'householders with their own houses', and 'an equal amount of proportion'. There are also awkward phrasings such as 'rose up within the whole period' and 'fluctuates and again showed a slight increase'. Vocabulary errors occasionally impede communication, particularly when combined with the data misinterpretations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures. While there are some attempts at complex sentences, they are frequently marred by tense inconsistencies, awkward phrasing, and punctuation errors. For example, 'householders with their own houses experience a decline in starting years and then gradually rose up' exhibits poor tense consistency. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, such as missing articles and faulty prepositions, which cause difficulty for the reader.
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