Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Numerous people argue that in the present we have too many choices. I firmly agree with this statement.

To commence with, people have clean and healthy environment. To elaborate it, we have a large number of hospital. But in the past there was no hospital. So a lot of people died with many diseases. Moreover, we get diseases we can get treatment from the hospitals. The government make many hospitals in every city. It become very beneficial for us. In addition, live is very convenient. The are some deprtments who have responsibility of cleaness our society it. In this way, we are healthy and fit. We find a solution of every iseases. For example, there are many hospitals located in every city in every country.

Furthermore, tehnology is also very helpful for us. To explain it, technology is using in every field. Additionally, it makes our lives easy. We can improve our study with the help of technology. It also helps in making decision in our life. We can get some lectures on different social media sites like You Tub, Instagram and facebook. These plateforms provide a lot of information about every things. Pupils take those lectures which they can understand easily. Technology replaces the teachers with these social media sites. For example, many students use mobile phones and laptops for their study.

"In conclusion" In this time, life is very easy. We have a lot of facilities.

So, i agree with this notation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

Your position is clear from the opening—“I firmly agree”—and you return to agreement in the conclusion. However, the response does not adequately address the actual question about whether people have too many choices. Most of the essay describes hospitals, cleanliness and technology as beneficial facilities, rather than explaining how these examples represent an excess of choices or whether that excess is harmful. The points are also asserted rather than developed with relevant reasoning or specific examples. The conclusion, “life is very easy” and “we have a lot of facilities,” does not resolve the question of too many choices. The response is six words below the required minimum. To improve, focus each paragraph on a relevant type of choice and explain why its quantity supports your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “To commence with” and “Furthermore,” and a conclusion. These markers help the reader recognise the stages of the essay. However, progression within the paragraphs is often unclear because ideas are linked by simple additions such as “Moreover” and “In addition” without showing how they support the central argument. The hospital discussion moves from healthcare to cleanliness, while the technology paragraph shifts from study resources to replacing teachers. Some references, such as “In this way,” do not clearly identify the idea they refer to. The conclusion is also separated awkwardly with quotation marks. Organise each paragraph around one clear reason, then use linking phrases to show cause, contrast or example.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “treatment,” “government,” “technology,” “lectures” and “social media sites,” so the reader can generally understand the areas you are discussing. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, which makes the argument less precise. Examples include “clean and healthy environment,” “we get diseases we can get treatment,” and “every things.” There are also spelling errors such as “deprtments,” “cleaness,” “iseases,” “tehnology,” “plateforms” and “You Tub.” These errors do not prevent the main meaning from being understood, but they reduce clarity and control. Build a more precise vocabulary for discussing choice, such as “options,” “overwhelming,” and “decision-making,” and check spelling and collocations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple statements and longer sentences, including examples introduced with “To elaborate it” and “For example.” Many basic sentence meanings are understandable, and the response shows some ability to connect clauses. However, errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence construction occur repeatedly. For instance, “a large number of hospital” needs a plural noun, “The government make” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, and “It become very beneficial” uses the wrong verb form. “The are some deprtments who have responsibility…” is also structurally difficult to follow, while “Moreover, we get diseases we can get treatment” needs clearer clause structure and punctuation. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using controlled subordinate clauses and check agreement and tense.

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