Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, our ambitions have more increased in us daily lives because the world system has transfered in social innovative technology such as new mobile launch, automobile and artifical intelligence. In addition These visulaize technologies are one of the most popular in some countries like China, America, and Japan. I will agree with this statement because there are several reasons, which will support my notions.

The first reasons that is very common all around the world; for instance a lot of all types of products clothes, shoes, and domestic items. In recent modern times, the number of women have many choices in their homes consumed equipments refrigerators, juicer machines, irons, and wearing clothes also cosmetics products.

However; due to many choices, they don't repair machines while they must purchase new macines instead of mended machines.

Another factor issuse in our surroundings that is shortage of money because we unfortunately spend times and explore a wide variety of prominent locations without incomes. All types of individuals people like teenagers, children have many choices in their's lives purchased new items mbiles, vehicle, and visit new countries. Due to this issues, a lot of causes create in the entire world cyber hackers, mudered, and fake adds, those factors are detrimentally affecting both physical and mental health also enivronmental sysytems.

I have tollaty agreed with statement because government and people sholud avoid a lo of choices in addition, we should support our beggar people and poor countries. Those countries would definitely support their citizen and childern careers.

To sum up, the essay has totally described all types pople choices, those wishes are become developing in our surroundings.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a position—“I will agree with this statement”—and give examples involving household goods, spending, and technology, so the response does address the topic. However, the reasons are only partly explained and some links to having too many choices are unclear. For example, the claim that people “spend times and explore a wide variety of prominent locations without incomes” is difficult to interpret, while cybercrime and environmental effects are introduced without showing how choice causes them. The conclusion also shifts to government support for poor people rather than clearly summarising your argument. Develop two relevant reasons, explain each cause-and-effect link, and use a specific example to support them.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, and phrases such as “The first reasons” and “Another factor” signal an attempt to organise ideas. Nevertheless, progression is difficult to follow because several points are placed together without clear relationships. The first body paragraph moves from product variety to repairing machines, while the next combines money, travel, young people, cybercrime, health, and the environment. Connect each paragraph to one main point and explain it in a logical sequence. Some linking expressions, including “However” and “Due to this issues,” do not clearly connect the ideas that follow. Use clearer referencing and transitions, and make the conclusion return directly to the position and reasons established in the essay.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “artificial intelligence,” “domestic items,” “cosmetics,” and “environmental systems,” and you try to express ideas about consumer choice and its effects. However, vocabulary is often basic, repetitive, or inaccurately selected, which can make meaning hard to understand. Phrases such as “our ambitions have more increased,” “visualize technologies,” and “prominent locations” do not convey the intended ideas naturally. There are also frequent spelling errors, for example “transfered,” “macines,” and “enivronmental.” Build a more precise set of expressions for consumer choice, such as “product range,” “purchase decisions,” and “financial pressure,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences and use clauses with “because,” “while,” and “that,” showing an effort to go beyond simple statements. However, sentence structures are often faulty, and errors frequently make the intended meaning difficult to follow. For example, “the number of women have many choices” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “Those countries would definitely support their citizen and childern careers” has unclear grammatical relationships between the nouns. Articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “a lot of all types of products clothes, shoes, and domestic items.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with one clear subordinate clause; proofread agreement, articles, and punctuation.

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