Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The chart below shows the top countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

Firstly, it can be see that 5,398 billion production of electricity in China and 5,322 billion consumption of electricity and 4,099 billion production in United States and also, 3,866 billion consumption of electricity. moreover, 530.7 billion production of electricity in Brazil and 455.8 billion consumption lastly, 485.1 billion production of electricity in Korea and 449.5 consumption of electricity.

Secondly, The highest production and consumption of electricity in China and second United States. on the other hand, many countries lower production and consumption of electricity like Japan, India, Canada, France, Brazil, Germany and the lowest production and consumption of electricity in Korea.

In conclude, There are many countries production and consumption of electricity but the highest country is the China and lowest country is the Korea and also, there are many difference between this two country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to address the task by selecting some data points, but it fails to provide a clear overview or a meaningful summary of the main features. The data is presented as a list of figures rather than a comparative analysis. While the prompt asks for a summary of the top ten countries, the response only mentions a few, failing to report on the full scope of the chart. The lack of a clear, analytical overview means the response does not fully address the requirements of an Academic Task 1 report. To improve, you must group data logically and highlight significant trends or comparisons rather than simply listing numbers.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclude' is mechanical and does not effectively link ideas. The sentences are often disjointed, making the text difficult to follow. For example, the transition between the data points and the summary is abrupt. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, unified purpose. The referencing is also unclear, as the text frequently jumps between countries without establishing a clear comparative structure.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. You rely heavily on the same phrases, such as 'production and consumption of electricity' and 'billion'. There is no attempt to use synonyms or more sophisticated terminology to describe the data (e.g., 'generated', 'utilized', 'surpassed', 'figures'). The phrasing is often awkward, such as '5,398 billion production of electricity in China', which lacks the necessary grammatical structure to be clear. To reach a higher band, you need to expand your vocabulary to include terms related to statistics and trends, and ensure you use them in grammatically correct collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are issues with sentence structure, such as fragments and run-on sentences (e.g., 'moreover, 530.7 billion production of electricity in Brazil and 455.8 billion consumption lastly...'). Subject-verb agreement and article usage are also inconsistent. The reliance on simple, repetitive sentence structures limits the range of grammar demonstrated. To improve, focus on constructing complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and practice using complex structures like relative clauses or comparative forms to link your ideas more effectively.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.