Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-09-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The bar chart compares several countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014 in billion kWh.
Overall, electricity consumed and produced China is higher than other countries. America electricity production and consumption is compared to China is slightly lower. Further, from Russia, Japan, India are quite similar to each others in the productions and consumption but higher difference between China and America. Only above top two ranked countries had the super electricity producing and consuming on high level in 5,398 kWh.
On the other hand, Canada, France and Korea republic are approximately same in consuming and producing. However, only single country Germany production is lower than consumption in 2014. Germany production is alternatively opposite to other countries.
Consequently, the top ranked country who consumed and produced electriity in 2014 is china and then United States. Another countries had lowers electricity and compared with Germany is different from all other countries.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main features of the chart, noting that China and the United States are the top producers and consumers of electricity, and correctly identifying Germany as the only country where consumption exceeds production. However, the task achievement is hindered by significant issues in expressing the data clearly. Many comparisons are vague, confusing, or grammatically obscured (e.g., 'America electricity production and consumption is compared to China is slightly lower'). Furthermore, some details are imprecise or awkwardly phrased, such as stating that countries like Russia and Japan are quite similar in production and consumption while ignoring the actual numerical gaps. While the core message is partially communicated, the lack of precise data reporting and clear comparative analysis limits the development of the response, placing it firmly in the lower-intermediate band.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response is organized into four paragraphs, attempting an introduction, body details, and a concluding remark. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by broken syntax and poor cohesion. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, resulting in disjointed sentences (e.g., 'Further, from Russia, Japan, India are quite similar...' and 'Consequently, the top ranked country who consumed and produced electriity...'). Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of information lacks internal coherence, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of data comparisons smoothly. Referencing is also weak, leading to ambiguous statements.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, frequently reusing terms like 'production', 'consumption', 'electricity', and 'countries'. There are noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices, such as 'super electricity producing' and 'alternatively opposite'. Some sentences suffer from word-formation and collocation issues that cause confusion for the reader. While the writer manages to deploy basic topic-related vocabulary, the overall range is limited, and errors in word choice restrict precision and clarity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response, with frequent errors in basic sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions. Examples include 'electricity consumed and produced China is higher' and 'Another countries had lowers electricity'. Complex sentence structures are rarely attempted, and when they are, they are typically faulty or ungrammatical (e.g., 'America electricity production and consumption is compared to China is slightly lower'). Punctuation and word forms are also problematic, meaning errors occur in almost every sentence and frequently impede understanding.
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