Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The bar chart illustrates the productivity of top ten countries to consume the electricity in the year 2014
overall it is noticable that production of electricity accounted highest propotion in all countries and consumption accounted for lowest proportion in all countries
At the first glance , china recorded the proportion for production at 5398 billion kWH while consumption recorded at 5322 billion kwh whereas united states recorded the proportion of 4099 billion kwH for production than 3866 billion kwh for consumptiom by contrast russia recorded at 1057 billion kwh for production while 1038billion kwh for consumption followed by japan recorded the 936.2 billion kwh for production and 856.7 billion kwh for consumption
whereas india recorded at 871 billion kwh for production than698.8 billion kwh for consumption
turing to the candada the proportion recorded for production was61.9 billion kwh while consumption recorded at 499.9 billion kwh whereas france recorded at 561.2for production and 462.9 billion kwh for comsumption
followed by brazil recorded at 530.7 billion kwh for production while 455.8 billion kwh for consumption by contrast germany recorded the proportion at 526.6 billion kwh for production than 582.5 billion kwh for consumption korea rep stood at 485.1 billion kwh for production than449.5 billion kwh for consumption of electricity in top ten countries
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The candidate attempts to cover the main features of the chart, noting the leading countries like China and the United States, as well as providing details for the remaining nations. However, there are notable flaws in data reporting, such as misreading Canada's production figure as 61.9 billion kWh instead of 618.9 billion kWh. Furthermore, the overall overview is somewhat confused, claiming that production accounted for the highest proportion and consumption for the lowest in all countries, which is factually incorrect for Germany where consumption exceeded production (582.5 compared to 526.6). While the response attempts to summarise and make comparisons, the inaccuracies in data transcription and the flawed overview prevent it from achieving a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The response suffers from severe structural and punctuation deficiencies. It is written almost as a single massive paragraph with a run-on structure, lacking proper full stops, capitalisation, and standard paragraph breaks. Transitional phrases like 'At the first glance', 'whereas', and 'turing to' are overused or misused to glue endless clauses together rather than establishing clear logical progression. Cohesive devices are generally mechanical or inadequate, and referencing is often unclear. Although there is a rudimentary attempt to group countries, the complete lack of proper punctuation and paragraphing severely hinders the overall readability and logical flow of the text.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, heavily relying on terms like 'production', 'consumption', 'billion kwh', and 'proportion'. There are several word-choice and collocation errors, such as 'productivity of top ten countries to consume the electricity' and 'accounted highest propotion'. Spelling errors also occur, including 'noticable', 'propotion', 'kwH', 'consumptiom', 'turing', and 'candada'. The range of lexical items is limited and minimally adequate for conveying basic numerical data, but the frequent inaccuracies and lack of sophisticated phrasing restrict the score to the lower bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The grammatical structure is heavily flawed. The response lacks basic punctuation, resulting in extremely long, rambling sentences joined by coordinating conjunctions and participial phrases like 'followed by japan recorded the...' and 'whereas india recorded at... than698.8'. There is a persistent misuse of prepositions and verb forms, such as 'recorded at ... for production while ... for consumption'. Complex sentence forms are attempted but are generally faulty and lack control over punctuation and syntax. Frequent grammatical errors cause noticeable difficulty for the reader and impede smooth communication throughout the text.
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