Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart illustrates top ten countries including china , united states and japan for production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

BODY PARAGRAPH:

Overall, it can be seen clearly that highest rank electricity used in china.The lowest rank electricity used Korea.Compare the china other countries used decrease the rank.

China production the using the electricity of production 5398 and consumption used the 5322.

Second number is united states decrease the value and its production used 4099 and consumption used 3866.If we can see the used electricity value decreases.still electricity value going to decrease last is city lowest use korea.Russia and straight we can see its still value of the electricity is same using.

Overall, we can see its mostly using the china and united states and then next start Russia the electricity value going to sharply down and then other so on decrease the value.Germany ranks is second last but its compare the korea high using.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to summarize the bar chart by identifying some of the main countries such as China, the United States, and Korea, and mentions specific production and consumption figures for the top nations. However, the task is addressed only partially because the overview is confused, and much of the data is presented in a fragmented, difficult-to-follow manner with several misinterpretations of the trends. For instance, the writer struggles to describe the data accurately, noting that the values go 'sharply down' without capturing the full picture of the top ten countries. To improve, the response needs a clearer, more accurate overview of the key features without relying on confusing descriptions of ranking order and individual data points.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The information and ideas are not arranged coherently. Although the student attempts to use paragraph breaks and transitional words like 'Overall', the logical progression is frequently disrupted by confusing statements and disjointed sentences. Referencing is often unclear, leaving the reader struggling to connect ideas, such as moving abruptly between different countries and statistical values without clear signposting. Furthermore, cohesive devices are used inadequately or inaccurately, which hinders the overall flow. To achieve a higher band, the text needs a logical structure where information is grouped by clear categories or trends, supported by appropriate and accurate cohesive devices that guide the reader smoothly from the introduction through the body paragraphs to a proper conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, heavily relying on simple terms and phrases directly lifted or awkwardly adapted from the prompt, such as 'production and consumption of electricity'. There are noticeable lexical inadequacies and word choice errors, such as using 'rank electricity used in china' or 'lowest use korea', which impede natural expression and strain the reader. The range of vocabulary is limited, and attempts at less common words are absent or imprecise. To lift this criterion to the next level, the student must expand their range of vocabulary, use appropriate collocations related to data reporting (such as 'generate', 'utilize', or 'surpass'), and minimize lexical errors to ensure clearer communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response displays a very limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple, poorly constructed sentences that often lack necessary verbs or prepositions. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with word forms, missing articles, and faulty clause structures, such as 'China production the using the electricity of production 5398' and 'If we can see the used electricity value decreases.' These frequent errors cause significant difficulty for the reader and distort the intended meaning. To improve, the writer needs to demonstrate better control over basic sentence construction, ensure correct subject-verb agreement, use appropriate verb tenses for data description, and reduce the frequency of structural errors.

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