Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Now we can see this image in this we have seen is 1-10 country comparison or electricity consumed or produced in kilowatt(kWh) billions

often we can see in this image on 1st and 2nd place is china and united states both countries has been consumed and produced electricity more than other 8 country china is 5398 kWh billion electricity has be produced and 5322 billion kWh has consumedans same as it is united states has been produced 4099 billiion kWh and consumed 3866 billion kWh electricity and other is 3rd to 8th has generate electricity less than china and united states on 3rd place is russia who's generated 1057 billion kWh electricity and 1038 billion electricity has been used by russia this image is showed the top 10 country generated and used electricity in 2014 in billion watt on the 4th place is japan is produced 936.2 billion kwh and consumed 856.7 billion kWh like these all country we can see other countreis is india ,canada , france ,brazil ,germany,korea rep

this the 10 country data of electricity generated or consumed in 2014 in the form of billion kWh

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response makes an attempt to summarise the bar chart, identifying China and the United States as the top producers and consumers of electricity in 2014, and mentioning several other countries. However, the information is presented in a very fragmented and repetitive way. The reporting of data is inaccurate and incomplete in places, such as stating that Russia used '1038 billion electricity' without proper units or failing to clearly structure the comparison between production and consumption across all ten nations. The overview is weak and lacks a clear summary of the broader trends shown in the chart. Consequently, the task is only addressed in a limited way, reflecting a minimal and tangential response to the requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response suffers from a lack of logical organisation and clear progression. The entire text is written as a single, continuous block without any paragraphing, which makes it extremely difficult to follow the flow of information. Cohesive devices are largely absent, and sentences are strung together using run-on structures and conversational phrases like 'Now we can see this image' and 'like these all country we can see other countreis'. Referencing is frequently unclear, and the mechanical listing of data without clear grouping or sequencing hinders the overall readability and structural coherence of the writing.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used throughout the essay is basic, repetitive, and informal. The student relies heavily on simple phrases such as 'we can see this image', 'produced and consumed', and 'on the place'. There are numerous word-choice and word-form errors, including spelling mistakes like 'countreis' and awkward expressions such as 'has been consumed and produced electricity' and 'billion watt'. While the fundamental topic is communicated, the vocabulary is restricted and repetitive, meaning that errors and basic phrasing frequently strain the reader and limit the precision required for academic reporting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting almost entirely of poorly controlled run-on sentences joined by conjunctions or relative clauses without proper punctuation. There is a frequent lack of control over basic verb forms, tenses, and passive voice structures, as seen in errors like 'china is 5398 kWh billion electricity has be produced' and 'russia who's generated'. Subject-verb agreement is frequently broken ('both countries has been consumed', 'other 8 country china is'), and punctuation is virtually non-existent, leading to long, confusing sentences. These frequent errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader and reflect a very basic command of sentence structure.

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