Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Here we discuss the top 10 countries,regarding to the use of electricity.The most top TEN the number one is China.china use most electricity in the range of 5308 to 5322.the second one is US.in the United state almost 3866 to 4099 usage of electricity.The third one is RUSSIA ,the most usage is 1038 to 1057.The fourth number of country is JAPAN,we calculated 856.7 to 936.2 usage of electricity.INDIA is on fifth num and the usage of electricity is 698.8 to 871.CANADA is on sixth num and the ratio is 618.9 to 499.9.FRANCE is also on seventh number and it will use 561.2 to 462.9 .BRAZIL is on eighth number and use of electricity is 530. to 455.8.GERMANY use 582.5 to 526.6 of electricity and it is on ninth number.The KOREA.REP is on the tenth number and the use of electricity is 485.1 tp 449.5.this is the overall conculision i write.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the countries in the chart and report several figures, including China’s leading position and Germany’s comparatively high consumption. However, the response mainly lists countries and numbers rather than summarising the main features. It does not clearly state the overall pattern that China and the United States are far ahead of the other countries, or that production is generally higher than consumption. Some figures are also assigned in the wrong order: for example, China’s production is 5,398 and consumption is 5,322, not a range of “5308 to 5322”; Germany’s production is 526.6 and consumption is 582.5, but the response reverses them. A clear overview and accurate comparisons are needed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows the chart’s country ranking, so a reader can see the intended sequence from China to Korea. However, it is presented as one long paragraph, with little separation between an overview and supporting details. Repeated patterns such as “the second one,” “the third one,” and “is on sixth num” make the progression mechanical, while the figures are sometimes difficult to interpret because “to” is used as if the values form a range. Grouping the leading countries together and the lower-ranking countries together, and using clear comparison links such as “whereas” or “by contrast,” would make the information easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use relevant basic terms such as “use of electricity,” “production,” and “consumption,” and the country names make the subject clear. However, vocabulary is repetitive and sometimes imprecise: “the most top TEN,” “the ratio,” and “the overall conclusion I write” do not describe chart information naturally. Several spelling and word-form errors, including “conculision” and “tp,” also reduce accuracy. Use a more suitable range of chart language, for example “generated,” “consumed,” “amount,” “approximately,” and “exceeded.” Take care to distinguish production from consumption rather than describing both as general “usage.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Most sentences use a simple subject-and-verb pattern, and the response attempts to connect information with “and.” However, grammatical errors are frequent, and some sentences are difficult to interpret. Examples include “Here we discuss the top 10 countries, regarding to the use” and “China use most electricity”; these show problems with sentence construction, prepositions, and subject–verb agreement. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, with country names switching between upper and lower case and several sentences running together. Practise accurate simple comparisons first, such as “China produced more electricity than it consumed,” then add controlled complex forms using “while” or “whereas.”

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