Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Electricity plays a imp role in our life.In the betterment of an country electricity os very important.Electricity solve complex problem and make our life more easier.Iot of electricity can check the machines where's the probelm is created.Today I will tell about you top 10 countries of there electricity production and consuming ratio.At very first i want to tell you about the no 1 country that produce electricity and consumer them is the china.China have largest population in the world so they need the electricity to work..At no 2 it is united states which is also known as USA it is secound largest current producer and ise them it produce billion of current in a year.At no 3 is the rusia which also be famous for largest country in the world. at no 4 is japan which is produce their currnet by eyerwhere by instruments.indai is on the 5 position its also used the current vert much.

At no 6 is is canda and no 7 its is france and on 8 position is it brazil and on 9 position it is germany at the last its korea that uses the current and also to produce which is at the last of the list which is also an good advantage and a bad disadvantage.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies several countries in the correct ranking order and recognises China as the leading producer and consumer, so it shows some awareness of the chart. However, it only minimally reports the data: there are no figures, no meaningful comparisons between production and consumption, and no clear overview of the main pattern. The discussion instead shifts to population, the importance of electricity, and unsupported claims about how countries generate or use it. The statement that Germany is near the bottom of the list overlooks that its consumption is higher than its production and exceeds several other countries’ figures. To improve, give a concise overview and compare key values, especially the large gap between China and the United States and the generally smaller differences elsewhere.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic sequence through the country rankings, with phrases such as “At no 2” and “At no 3” helping the reader follow the list. However, the response lacks a clear report structure: it begins with general comments about electricity, moves into country-by-country remarks, and ends without a focused summary. Connections between ideas are often unclear, and repeated ranking phrases make the progression mechanical. Some sentences combine unrelated points, such as the comments about China’s population and electricity needs. Organise the response into an introduction, an overview of the main features, and a paragraph comparing selected data. Use linking expressions to show contrasts and similarities rather than simply listing countries.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “current” is repeatedly used where “electricity” or “electricity consumption” is needed, while “produce electricity and consumer them” does not express the chart’s categories accurately. There are also misspellings such as “rusia,” “indai,” and “canda,” and awkward phrases including “an good advantage and a bad disadvantage.” The response does attempt topic-related words such as “production” and “consuming ratio,” but these are not used consistently or naturally. Build a small set of accurate chart terms—production, consumption, output, and figure—and use them to make direct comparisons.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies mainly on short, simple statements, with little evidence of controlled complex sentence structures. Frequent errors in sentence formation and basic grammar sometimes obscure meaning. Examples include “Electricity solve complex problem,” “China have largest population,” and “it is japan which is produce their currnet,” where subject–verb agreement, articles, and verb forms are inaccurate. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also poorly controlled: several sentences run together, while “work..At” contains incorrect punctuation and spacing. There are occasional understandable simple clauses, such as “At no 6 is is canda,” but these do not show reliable grammatical control. Practise accurate present-tense comparisons and use a few clear structures such as “Production was higher than consumption in…”.

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