Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart illustrates the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

Overall trend there was two types Production and consumption over all the countries china is the increse the value of electricity

Initially, In china there was 5398 Production However 5322 was the consumption of electricity in 2014 On the other hand in us the value of electricity was declined in 2014 . the consumption was almost 3866 Moreover 4099 was the production

In addition, In Russia and japan the production and consumption of electricity showed fall in 2014. The production in japan was almost 936.2 However production in russia was 1057 Moreover consumption showed in japan almost 856.7 On the other hand consumption showed in rusisia 1057

Furthurmore, The value of production and consumption of electricity in 2014 showed in india. canada , france, brazil,germany korea Rep was almost Down fall

Conclution, The value of production and consumption of electricity in 2014 was almost Descrese however in chine it was almost Rise in 2014

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the chart’s subject and include several relevant figures, such as China’s production and consumption and the United States’ values. However, the response reports the main features only minimally and does not provide a clear, accurate overview. The claim that electricity values generally “showed fall” is too broad: China and the United States are far ahead, while Germany is the notable country where consumption exceeds production. There is also a factual error when you give Russia’s consumption as 1,057; the chart shows 1,038. Several countries are grouped together without meaningful comparisons, and the conclusion repeats a general rise/fall claim rather than summarising the key pattern. Select and compare the most significant figures more clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic sequence, moving from an opening statement to China and the United States, then Russia and Japan, and finally the remaining countries. Paragraph breaks and linking expressions such as “On the other hand,” “Moreover,” and “Furthermore” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, progression is difficult to follow because the overview is unclear and several sentences combine figures without explaining their relationship. For example, the Russia and Japan section shifts between countries and measures, while the final paragraph lists six countries without developing a comparison. Some connectors are repeated or do not express a clear contrast. Organise the report into a concise overview and focused comparison paragraphs, grouping countries by their figures or patterns.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “production,” “consumption,” “value,” and “electricity,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and several word choices or collocations make the meaning unclear. Phrases such as “the value of electricity,” “showed fall,” and “showed in India” do not describe the chart naturally. Spelling errors, including “increse,” “Furthurmore,” “Conclution,” and “Descrese,” also reduce accuracy. Use precise reporting language such as “generated,” “consumed,” “stood at,” and “was higher than,” and check spelling carefully. This would help you express comparisons without repeatedly relying on “value” and “showed.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to form longer sentences using contrast markers such as “However” and “On the other hand,” but sentence structures are often incomplete or inaccurately joined. For instance, “Overall trend there was two types” lacks a clear grammatical structure, and “In china there was 5398 Production” has an unclear subject and verb pattern. Agreement and articles are also inconsistent, as in “there was two types,” while punctuation and capitalisation make sentence boundaries difficult to identify. Most sentences follow a simple pattern, with limited control of more complex forms. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, for example, “China produced 5,398 billion kWh, compared with consumption of 5,322 billion kWh.”

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