Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart demonstrst us the ussage of electricity in defferent countries in 2024.

As we know that the cunsumption of electricity is high in every country becouse every thing need electricity. according to the chart china production of electricity is more than his ussage and korea also have information in chart.

The production of electricity in china was 5,398 and his cunsumption is 5,322. the production of electricity in united state was 4,099 and cunsumption 3,8666 while Russia the production 1,057 and usage is 1,038 in japan the production of electricity was 936.2 and ussage was 856.7 india has make 871 electricity and use 698.8 while in canada 618.9 is the production of electricity and use 499.9 and in France 561.2 is production and 462.9 is ussage Brzil 530.7 production and 455.8 is ussage and in Germany 526.6 is production and 528 is ussage and koea 485 is the production and 449.5 is cunsumption

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response includes several relevant production and consumption figures, including China, the United States, Russia and Japan, and it recognises that China produces slightly more than it consumes. However, the task is addressed only minimally: there is no clear overview of the main pattern, such as the two countries far exceeding the others or production generally being higher than consumption. Some details are inaccurate: the United States’ consumption is written as “3,8666,” and Germany’s consumption is given as 528 rather than 582.5. The opening also says the chart is about 2024, although it shows 2014. To improve, give a concise overview first, then select accurate comparisons that highlight the largest and notable exceptions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a basic sequence, moving from a brief introduction to country-by-country figures, so the reader can identify some of the information being reported. However, ideas are not arranged coherently enough: the opening mixes a general comment about electricity use with a partial observation about China and Korea, and the data then appear in one long, crowded paragraph. Linking is limited, with repeated “while” and “and” doing most of the work, and punctuation does not clearly separate comparisons. Organise the report into an introduction and overview, followed by grouped comparisons—for example, the two leading countries and then the remaining countries. Use clear sentence boundaries and linking phrases to show contrasts.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on “production,” “usage,” “use” and “electricity.” Some task-relevant terms are present, including “consumption,” but spelling errors such as “demonstrst,” “ussage,” “defferent,” “cunsumption,” “becouse,” “Brzil” and “koea” make the writing less clear and reduce control. Several expressions are also imprecise for a chart report, such as “has make 871 electricity” and “have information in chart.” Use accurate reporting language and vary it selectively: for example, “generated,” “consumed,” “stood at” and “compared with.” Check spelling carefully, especially for repeated key terms, and avoid informal or vague phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response mainly uses simple sentence patterns, with little evidence of controlled complex structures. Frequent errors in sentence formation and punctuation make relationships between figures difficult to follow. For example, “the production in united state was 4,099 and cunsumption 3,8666 while Russia the production 1,057” lacks a clear grammatical structure and needs separate clauses. There are also problems with articles, agreement and verb forms, as in “china production” and “korea also have.” Capitalisation and sentence boundaries are inconsistent. Practise writing short, complete comparison sentences first, such as “China produced 5,398 billion kWh, compared with consumption of 5,322 billion kWh,” then combine ideas using accurate contrast clauses.

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