Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today’s world subjects like Science and technology are more important than History.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example form your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In today's rapidly evolving world, the government take many actions to improve our education system. Moreover, a group of people discuss History is one of the most crucial topic in our primary school subjects. However, an another group of people say that Science and Technology are more vitual compared to History in the current time. This essay will articulate both of view points along with my own opinion.

To commence with the bright side of Science and Technology are more significant than History. To be more precise, Science and Technology gave better knowledge to the student that how to used Technology as well as, Science in daily lifes. For example, though people are used mobile phone or laptop during their study, they easly to learn this topics. Therefore, I feel that government must give Science and Technology subjects in school. As a result, Student should quickly learn any topics.

On the other hand, there are some draw back of the circumstance, as government should foucs on Science and technology compared to History.

To elaborate futher on this point, in today's, people are forget our history, they only do focus to learn Science and Technology releted topics. Looking at, in the current time,although huge amount of people do not proper ideas about our culture, They forget every things. They very well ideas about modern technology. Cosequently, in past people have good knowledged about weather pattern and many more.

In concusion, nowaday, government should take some steps to improve students communication skills as well as, thier knowledges. In addition there are some benifites that Science and Technology are importance subjects in school such as, student have well known knowledge releted Science and Technology topics. There are some negative impacts that students get focus on Science and Technology like, student's have less knowledged about History.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts both sides and gives a broad preference for Science and Technology, but the discussion is only minimally developed. The first main paragraph says these subjects help students use devices and learn, yet the example is unclear and does not explain why this makes them more important than History. The paragraph beginning “On the other hand” recognises that students may forget culture and the past, but its point about historical knowledge of weather patterns is not explained or connected clearly to the argument. The conclusion repeats the benefits and drawbacks rather than resolving the comparison with a clear, supported opinion. To strengthen the response, explain one specific benefit of each subject and state directly how you weigh them.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an identifiable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “To commence with” and “On the other hand” show an attempt to organise the discussion. However, ideas are not arranged coherently throughout: the second body paragraph opens by discussing the drawbacks of prioritising Science, then shifts to people forgetting history, and ends with an unclear point about past knowledge of weather. Several sentences are difficult to connect, including “Looking at, in the current time…” and “They very well ideas about modern technology.” Linking phrases are also mechanical or incorrectly used, while references such as “this topics” are unclear. Build each paragraph around one main claim, then explain and illustrate it in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “education system,” “crucial,” “culture,” “weather pattern” and “negative impacts,” and attempts to vary expressions with phrases such as “To elaborate further.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making meaning difficult to follow: “more vitual,” “better knowledge to the student,” “do focus,” and “good knowledged” are examples. Spelling errors such as “easly,” “foucs,” “Cosequently” and “benifites” also reduce control. Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than adding formal-sounding phrases. For example, use “valuable knowledge,” “focus on,” and “historical knowledge” where appropriate, and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer structures, including “though people are used mobile phone or laptop during their study,” but sentence forms are often faulty, and errors frequently make relationships between ideas unclear. Verb forms and agreement are problematic in “the government take,” “Science and Technology gave,” and “people are forget.” Articles, plurals and sentence construction also need attention, as in “an another group,” “one of the most crucial topic,” and “Student should quickly learn any topics.” Some sentences are fragments or lack a clear grammatical structure, particularly “They very well ideas about modern technology.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using clauses such as “because” or “although.” Check subject–verb agreement, verb tense and singular/plural forms during revision.

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