Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry.

Why is this the case?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

First of all, I apricate your efforts that you are planning to give a better environment at workplace.

It is fact that many employees wear perfume when they come to work, however I think wearing perfume at workplace

should be prohibited.

First and foremost, it is generally seen that most of the people have a smell allergy as when they start strong

smelling of perfumes, then they start feeling unconscious and some of them become victims of headache; therefore, this

kind of situation also can be occurred at workplace where employees wear expensive perfumes to hide bad smell from

themselves. As a results, which workers have allergy from strong smells they can get affected, so without any

furthered discussion management should impose a ban on using perfumes at workplace.

Although, employees wear perfumes to mask unpleasant body odors, they should think about the other outcomes

that can be occurred after using perfumes at workplace. They can follow to other alternatives to hide bad smells

like using body creams and lotions which do not have strong fragrance; however, they have benefits to stop

realsing bad smells from body as this would be the win-win situation for all workers.

Therefore, I would recommend impose ban on using perfumes at workplace, and workers should be allowed use only use

that products which do not have strong smells.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 2.0

The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for an essay regarding global hunger and agricultural advances, but the student has written an essay about banning perfume in the workplace. Because the response does not address the task question at all, it fails to meet the requirements for Task Achievement. Furthermore, the response is under the 250-word minimum requirement, which further impacts the score. To improve, it is essential to read the prompt carefully and ensure the content directly answers the specific questions asked.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, and there is some attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'First of all', 'First and foremost', and 'Therefore'. However, because the content is irrelevant to the prompt, the logical progression is disconnected from the task requirements. The paragraphing is present, but the overall structure does not support a coherent argument related to the topic of global hunger. The use of linking words is somewhat mechanical and occasionally misused, such as the transition in the second paragraph.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. There are several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'apricate' (likely meant 'appreciate'), 'realsing' (spelling error for 'releasing'), and 'without any furthered discussion'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to discuss complex topics, and the errors occasionally make the intended meaning slightly difficult to follow. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and improving spelling accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include 'which workers have allergy from strong smells they can get affected' (awkward syntax) and 'they can follow to other alternatives' (incorrect preposition). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the response from reaching a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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