Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry.

Why is this the case?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

in the advancement of the world the crises of jobs are incresing with youngers .Lets breakdown it,why is this happening even the spite of advancement made in agriculture so basically it is due to unequal distribution of food now lets understand it as there are a lot of country which are famous for their food production but another is famous for his minerals generation and some of them are famous for their oil and gas generation but their is no proper \way to manage these under proper contract basis that no one should be jobless now lets link this to another concept, if you go back around 1400 years back and see in that time there was not any currency so the people trade int he way let say if some one is having a cow and i want to buy that so i gave hime 2 or 3 goats to buy the cow from him so this was the way that if i were needed of some thing so i gave some thing of mine to get that thing so after some time the probelms started creating let say if i wanted to buy horse and i wanted to gave him a camel goat cow or any thing the place of horsae but there were possiblities that the men selling his horse donot want to exchange his cow with those thing i am having so this was such a big problem for trade so the people decided to make some thing that should be used to buy any thing you want withput any problem so they created money a paper that is used for every thing to buy, so in the same way i thing we have to make come contracts or agreement witch should be must for every country to get so the minerals could be used as their should not be any one sleeps hunger this is my suggenstion according to this situation. thank you.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify unequal distribution as a possible reason people remain hungry despite agricultural progress, which is relevant to the question. You also attempt a solution through agreements between countries. However, the response only minimally addresses both parts: the explanation focuses heavily on a long history of barter and the creation of money, which does not clearly explain how food insecurity persists today. The proposed contracts are vague, and it is not explained how they would move food from surplus areas to people in need. The opening discussion of jobs and minerals also distracts from the central issue. Develop a clear position, explain specific causes such as poverty, conflict, or food waste, and connect each practical solution directly to hunger.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is an attempt to guide the reader with phrases such as “lets breakdown it” and “now lets link this to another concept,” and the response broadly moves from a cause to a suggestion. However, ideas are not arranged coherently: the discussion shifts from jobs to food production, barter, money, minerals, and international contracts without clear links. The response is presented as one extended paragraph, so the main points are difficult to identify. Several sentences run on for many clauses, and repeated connectors such as “so” do not show the precise relationship between ideas. Use separate paragraphs for causes and solutions, and make each paragraph develop one central point with clear transitions and references.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some topic-related vocabulary, including “unequal distribution,” “food production,” “minerals,” and “contracts,” showing an attempt to discuss economic causes and solutions. However, much of the wording is basic or imprecise, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors make the message harder to follow. Examples include “crises of jobs,” “youngers,” “minerals generation,” and “sleeps hunger.” Some phrases, such as “paper that is used for every thing to buy,” are also awkward and do not express the idea naturally. Build a more accurate range around food insecurity, access, supply, and aid, and check spelling and collocations. More precise vocabulary would help make the argument clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas using longer sentences and clauses, for example when explaining the barter system, but these structures are frequently difficult to control. Many sentences run together without appropriate full stops, and punctuation is often missing, as in the extended passage beginning “if you go back around 1400 years back.” There are also recurring problems with articles, agreement, and verb forms, such as “there are a lot of country,” “the people trade,” and “the men selling his horse.” These errors sometimes obscure the intended meaning. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses carefully. Check subject–verb agreement, tense consistency, and sentence boundaries during revision.

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