Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 13 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry.

Why is this the case?

What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, even advances tecenology made in agriculture however, people still go hungry around the world has became a hot topic. Therefore, the essay will be discuss this topic give the solutation and investigate the case.

To begin with, the main reason is the a few numbers of individuls are agriculture cause huge numbers of people work the another then the some sucessesful business invested his proporty on the company. In most of school teacher should teach to those pupils of science, tecenology and related the company, therefore they learn to just facinats of knowledge not a traditional culture because in this genaration do not loved to admitted in agriculture. Every countries resident prefer to go another countries to those better life style and also the juniors are learn, what the senirous they doing and teenagers consumed knowledge the best option is gone to the foreing countries that kind of thinking learn teenagers by seniors.

If the concerd athorothis provided to the good income enough to their life. It will be sucess to groth on agriculture together if academic school learn to pupils of agriculture. Adult people working in their country, some of the sucessful businessman people invested money to the agriculture not a company, factory. It will be definetelly chenges on increasing agriculture.

In conclusion, if every countries resident are follow there oldest rules like addmited in agriculture together learning to the upcoming pupils of criculs part of agriculture by giving extra knowledge for everyone then the finally in spite of advence made in agriculture together many people around the world donot go hungry.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You attempt to address both questions: the second paragraph suggests that few people enter agriculture, while the third proposes better income, education, and investment as solutions. However, the reasons are difficult to identify precisely, and the response does not clearly explain how these factors cause hunger despite agricultural advances. The proposed measures are also only briefly stated and not connected to practical outcomes. For example, “a few numbers of individuals are agriculture” appears to mean that too few people work in farming, but this point needs a clear explanation and a relevant example. The conclusion repeats a general idea rather than drawing together a developed answer. Make each cause and solution explicit, then explain how it could reduce hunger.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, separate body paragraphs, and a conclusion, so there is an attempt to organise the answer by function. Some linking expressions, including “To begin with,” “If,” and “In conclusion,” also signal movement between ideas. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow because several sentences combine unrelated points, and connections between claims are often unclear. The long discussion of schools, migration, and what teenagers learn does not lead clearly to the next point about income or investment. The conclusion is also hard to interpret. Use one main idea per paragraph, arrange causes before solutions, and connect each supporting sentence directly to its paragraph’s central point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “agriculture,” “businessman,” “income,” “invested,” and “traditional culture.” However, the range is basic and many word choices or spellings make the intended meaning difficult to understand, as in “a few numbers of individuls are agriculture,” “the another,” and “the foreing countries.” Some expressions appear to be direct translations rather than natural English, such as “provided to the good income enough to their life.” This limits precision and sometimes strains the reader. Build a reliable set of topic phrases and check spelling and collocations; for instance, say “few people work in agriculture” and “provide farmers with a sufficient income.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to use longer sentences and conditional structures, such as “If the concerd athorothis provided to the good income…” and “if every countries resident are follow…”. However, these structures are frequently faulty, and the response relies on sentence patterns that do not consistently express complete, clear relationships. Errors include verb forms (“has became,” “will be discuss”), subject–verb agreement (“every countries resident are”), articles (“the a few numbers”), and sentence construction. These problems often distort meaning, as in the opening sentence, where the contrast between agricultural advances and hunger is not grammatically controlled. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking verb forms, agreement, and sentence boundaries.

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