Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

SVERAL PEOPLE THINK THAT IT IS A GOOD HABIT TO ACCEPT A DETRIMENT SITUATION, SUCH AS UNSATISFACTORY JOB OR LACK OF MONEY, WHILE OTHERS ARGUE IT IS BETTER TO BRING IMPROMENT IN BAD SITUATIONS. FROM MY PERSPECTIVE, WE SHOULD ENCOURAGE OURSELVES TO IMPROVE OUR WAY OF LIVE. INSTEAD OF BLAMING WHAT WE HAVE RIGHT NOW. THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS.

NOWADAYS, SOME PEOPE THINK THAT THEY ARE NOT LIVING A BETTER LIFE BECAUSE OF TEHY DON'T HAVE THEIR DREAM JOB OR DO NOT HAVE THE A LOT OF MONEY TO IMPROVE THEIR LIFE. THERE ARE SOME REASONS THAT PEOPLE ARE MORE INTERESTED IN OTHERS PEOPLE LIFE INTEAD OF WORKING ON THEMSELVES. FOR INSTANCE, IF A PERSON HAVE A LUXURY CARS SO THE POOR PERSON WILL AUTOMATICALLY BLAME AND CREATING AND DOUT LIKE WHY THEY DON'T HAVE SUCH LUXURY CARS INSTEAD OF WORKING.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You introduce the topic and state a clear preference for improving one’s circumstances: “we should encourage ourselves to improve our way of live.” You also begin to explain why some people focus on others’ lives, using the example of a poorer person comparing themselves with someone who owns a luxury car. However, the response addresses only part of the task: it does not explain the case for accepting a bad situation, and your own view is not supported with a developed reason or example. The discussion stops before reaching a conclusion. The response is also 107 words below the required minimum, which leaves too little space to develop both views. To improve, explain each position, support them with relevant examples, and finish by clearly justifying your opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening paragraph introduces the issue and a second paragraph starts to discuss one perspective. Linking expressions such as “while,” “for instance,” and “instead of” show an effort to connect ideas. However, the overall progression is incomplete: the second view is not discussed, and there is no conclusion. Some connections are difficult to follow, particularly the sentence beginning “There are some reasons that people are more interested in others people life,” which does not clearly lead into the example. The opening also uses “This essay will discuss both views,” but the response does not fulfil that plan. Use separate paragraphs for each view and your opinion, and make each paragraph develop one clear point in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “unsatisfactory job,” “lack of money,” “dream job,” and “luxury cars.” These choices make the general subject understandable. However, the range is limited, and several inaccurate or misspelled expressions make the meaning less clear, such as “detriment situation,” “bring improment,” and “way of live.” The phrase “creating and dout” is especially difficult to interpret. Aim to use accurate collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, describe a “difficult situation” and say “improve one’s circumstances.” More precise vocabulary for acceptance, financial hardship, and taking action would also help you explain both sides of the argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a contrast with “while” and an example introduced by “For instance.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction and agreement sometimes make the ideas hard to follow. For example, “if a person have a luxury cars” has problems with subject–verb agreement and singular/plural form, while “the poor person will automatically blame and creating” does not maintain a consistent verb structure. The opening also contains a sentence fragment: “Instead of blaming what we have right now.” Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement, articles, and parallel verb forms. A wider range of accurately controlled sentences would make your reasoning easier to understand.

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