Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

I THINK WE SHOULD IMPROVE AND TRY TO DO A BUSINESS. IF WE START A BUSINESS THEN WE CAN ACHIEVE A GOAL AND BECOME A RICH PERSON.R SO WE SHOULD BELEIVE ON SMART WORKING. IF YOU BORN POOR ITS NOT YOUR FAULT BUT IF YOU DIE POOR ITS YOUR FAULT. MOSTLY RICH PEOPLE IN THE WORLD BORN POOR BUT THEY DONE SMART WORKING ON BUSINESS AND BECAME RICH.I WAS POOR BUT I START ON AMAZON AS A VIRTUAL ASSITANT THE I COLLECT MONEY AND STARTED MY OWN BUSINESS ON AMAZON AND THEN I BECAME RICH. SO WE SHOULD WORK ON HIS GOAL AND WE SHOULD THINK BIG IF WE THINK BIG THEN WE CAN ACHEIVE OUR GOALS. INITIALLY I STARTED MY CARIER WITH A JOB THEN I DECIDED IF I WANT TO EARN ALOT OF MONEY THEN I SHOULD START A SMALL BUSINESS. SO, I QUITED MY JOB AND START A SMALL BUSINESS GRADUALLY MY BUSINESS MADE A PROGRESS AND I EARND ALOT OF MONEY FROM MY BUSINESS.I HAD A WISH TO TRAVEL ALOT. I FULFILLED MY WISH AND TRAVELED TO 19 COUNTRIS. MY LAST TRIP WAS IN BALI. NOW I AM PLANNING TO VISIT VIETNAM. VIETNAM IS VERY BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY. I WATCHED MANY VIDEOS OF VIETNAM'S CITY HANAOI. HANOI NIGHT LIGFE IS AMAZING. I WILL GO TO THE CLUB. IN PAKISTAN WE DO NOT HAVE CLUBS BUT IN THAILAND AND VIETNAM THERE ARE ALOT OF CLUBS. IN VIETNAM PEOPLE DON NOT GO TO CLUBS. I DO NOT KNOW WHY THEY DO NOT GO TO THE CLUBLE

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response gives a clear preference for improving one’s circumstances, especially through starting a business, and includes personal examples about leaving a job and building an Amazon business. However, the task asks you to discuss both views, and the opposing view—accepting a difficult situation—is not explained. Much of the response then moves away from the question into travel plans, Bali, Hanoi nightlife, and clubs, so these details do not support the argument. The business examples are relevant to your opinion, but they are mostly presented as personal claims rather than developed reasons or evidence. To strengthen the response, explain why some people may accept a bad situation, then compare that view with your own and keep each example directly connected to the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a discernible central position at the beginning: you believe people should try to improve their situation. The account of starting a business also gives some progression from having a job to earning more. However, the response is presented as one long block, with no paragraphing to separate the two views, your opinion, or supporting examples. Ideas shift abruptly from business success to travel and nightlife, and repeated links such as “so,” “then,” and “if” do not establish a clear overall argument. Some references, including “they” in the discussion of people in Vietnam, are difficult to follow. Use separate paragraphs and organise the response around the task’s two views, with clear links between each claim and its explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a basic range of topic-related vocabulary, including “business,” “job,” “goal,” and “earn,” and the main point is generally understandable. There are also attempts at phrases such as “smart working” and “made a progress,” but these are not natural collocations in this context. Repetition of “business,” “rich,” and “big” limits precision, while numerous spelling errors—such as “beleive,” “acheive,” “carier,” and “countris”—make the writing less clear and polished. Some vocabulary about travel and nightlife is specific, but it does not help address the essay question. Build a more accurate range for discussing financial hardship, accepting circumstances, and taking action, and check spelling and word combinations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response communicates several simple ideas, and there are attempts to connect clauses using “if,” “but,” and “then.” However, sentence structures are mostly simple or joined into long run-on sequences, so the range is limited. Errors in verb forms and tense are frequent, for example “If you born poor,” “they done smart working,” and “I start a small business.” Agreement and articles are also problematic in phrases such as “Vietnam is very beautiful country,” while punctuation and sentence boundaries are often missing. These patterns sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise forming complete sentences with accurate past and present verb forms, and use full stops to separate each main idea before attempting longer structures.

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