Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Everyone on the earth has different point of views when talking about certain situations, such as not being satisfied by your job in some aspects or shortage of money. Many individuals think that acceptance is the solution to any problem and on the other hand some people believe that they should stop accepting and start taking actions to improve the situations. I strongly believe that humans should try their best to improve such situation, which may or may not have some drawback.

In this paragraph, I will state why I believe people should try and improve such situation. Firstly, unsatisfactory job can drown a human mind mentally, physically and emotionally. For an epitome, nowadays, Generation Z is not letting such situations affect them, if they feel that the job is not worthy or they are unsatisfied, they have the guts to speak up, try to find the core of the issue and resolve it as mental health is a priority.

Secondly, normalizing shortage of money is not at all acceptable, if you are working efficiently, you should not be worried about asking for your worth and work. Many people make small plans and try to breakdown the problem that what is causing the shortage, doing such things gives them better track of their money and this issue can be resolved easily.

Conversely, some people believe that problems like unsatisfactory job and shortage of money are a result of our Karma and we should accept it as a fruit to our deed. However, I disagree with this statement. In some factors there can be situation that people are just fighting that they are not enough satisfied from their jobs but in reality they are not doing enough for the company.

In conclusion, I pens down to the statement that humans should not be accepting their bad situation such as unsatisfactory jobs or shortage of money and instead try to improve such circumstances.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. The position is consistent throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The argument regarding 'Generation Z' is a good attempt at supporting the first view, but the second paragraph regarding 'shortage of money' is slightly underdeveloped, focusing more on personal budgeting than the broader concept of improving one's financial situation. The counter-argument section is a bit brief and could have been expanded to provide a more balanced discussion before refuting it. Overall, the response meets the requirements of the task well, but could benefit from more depth in the supporting arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Conversely', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader through the argument. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. For example, the phrase 'In this paragraph, I will state...' is unnecessary and disrupts the flow. Additionally, the referencing in the third paragraph is slightly unclear, particularly the sentence 'In some factors there can be situation that people are just fighting that they are not enough satisfied'. Improving the variety and naturalness of cohesive links would elevate the score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'epitome' and 'drown a human mind', though 'epitome' is used incorrectly in this context (it should be 'for example' or 'to illustrate'). Some collocations are slightly unnatural, such as 'drown a human mind mentally' or 'pens down to the statement'. While the range is sufficient to communicate the message, more precise word choices and better control over collocations would be required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'Everyone on the earth has different point of views' (should be 'points of view'), 'try to breakdown the problem that what is causing' (should be 'break down the problem of what is causing'), and 'they are not enough satisfied' (should be 'not satisfied enough'). While these errors are noticeable, they do not generally impede communication. To improve, the student should focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and refining the structure of complex sentences to ensure they are error-free.

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