Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some individuals believe that accept a worried situation is best, rather than an dissatisfaction in job or shortage of money. Whereas, some argue that it is good to improve yourself.

To commence with, job satisfaction is far important than the money because it gives you mind satisfaction and peace which creates a crucial role in our good physical and mental health. Moreover, some people believed that when you are in crises like you are a jobless person enhance your skills and experience. Additionally, gain new skills or improve yourself alleviates your bad habits which destroy you. In my opinion, I strongly agree with notion, like nature give you a chance to improve yourself in a better way. Afterwards, if you have no money to bear your household utilities you can understand the value of money that encourage you for hardworking and improve yourself.

Furthermore, other individuals argue that it is a better way to improve yourself in a excellent way it provides you the value of money and job. Along with that, cousin of mine is a Civil Engineer, he works in construction company, but his interest is in third party consultancy firm like NESPAK later, he leave his company and improve quality control skills that enhance his experience in construction industry now is a Resident Engineer in NESPAK and several high rise building projects have been continue under him.

In Conclusion, job satisfaction is very important for our physical and mental health so improve yourself and enhance your experience as a result, abundant of jobs are waiting for you.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both views and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While the prompt asks to discuss accepting a bad situation versus improving it, the essay focuses almost exclusively on the benefits of self-improvement, failing to adequately explore the rationale behind why some people might choose to accept a bad situation. The arguments provided are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. The inclusion of a personal anecdote about a cousin is relevant but takes up a significant portion of the essay without adding substantial analytical weight to the discussion. To improve, ensure both sides of the argument are balanced and supported with more general, logical reasoning rather than relying on personal examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. While cohesive devices like 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' are used, they are often placed in contexts where they do not logically connect the preceding and following ideas. The referencing is sometimes confusing, particularly in the second paragraph where the transition from discussing job satisfaction to the benefits of being jobless is abrupt. The conclusion is a summary, but it does not effectively synthesise the two sides of the argument presented in the body paragraphs. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often imprecise, which occasionally hinders the clarity of the message. Phrases like 'accept a worried situation' and 'mind satisfaction' are non-standard collocations that detract from the professional tone required for an Academic Task 2 essay. There is some attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary, such as 'consultancy firm' and 'construction industry', but these are overshadowed by frequent errors in word choice and word formation, such as 'abundant of jobs' instead of 'an abundance of jobs'. To reach a higher band, focus on learning natural collocations and using more precise academic terminology rather than attempting to translate literal thoughts directly from your native language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('nature give you'), incorrect verb forms ('he leave his company'), and missing articles or prepositions. Punctuation is also problematic, with several run-on sentences and comma splices that make the text difficult to read. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence construction prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on mastering basic sentence structure and proofreading for common errors like verb tense consistency would be a highly effective way to improve your score.

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