Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is believed by a group of individuals that it is best to accept a detrimental situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money, others agrue that it is essential to try and enhance such conditions. This essay will discuss both perspectives, before presenting my own opinion.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why it is much more better to accept soem situations like an unsatisfactory job or money problems. Initially, when people face shortage of money they can understand the importance of money. To given an example, many people, particularly students or younger people spent more money while travelling and then they face bad situation about shortage of money. As a result, they cna know the value of money and they do not consumed unnecessary products. Additionally, if individuals received unsatisfactory job, which helps them to gain some valuable real-life experiences.

On the other hand, a substantial proportion of people agrue that it is much better to try and enhance such situations. To elaborate, when people face an unsatisfaction job, they should try hard enough to overcome this situations. Instead of leaving these jobs they should seeking other things like friendly environment, supportive colleagues and a good supervisor. Furthermore, many people really face money shortage, they should improve their knowledge the importance of money. Consequently, people can easily overcome these difficult situations if they they try hard enough or improve such situations.

In conclusion, although it is better to receive an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money because in this away people can gain some valuable real-life experience, I believe that it is much more better to try enough to overcome these situations because it then provide good-quality jobs or they can understand the value of money.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a personal opinion, so the response is relevant to the full task. The two body paragraphs distinguish accepting difficult circumstances from trying to improve them, and the conclusion states a preference for taking action. However, the discussion is only partly developed: the point that an unsatisfactory job can provide “valuable real-life experiences” is not explained, and the money examples mainly repeat that people learn the value of money rather than showing why acceptance is beneficial. Your position also shifts: the introduction promises an opinion later, while the conclusion gives reasons for both sides before stating a preference. Make your view clear from the start and support each main point with a specific explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, with repeated patterns such as “To elaborate” and “Furthermore,” and some links between ideas are unclear. For example, the paragraph about improving a job moves to money shortages without a clear transition, while “Consequently” introduces a conclusion that largely repeats the preceding claim. Use fewer formulaic connectors and make each paragraph develop one central idea through a clear explanation and example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “detrimental situation,” “shortage of money,” “supportive colleagues,” and “real-life experiences.” This gives you enough language to communicate the main points, but the range is limited and several choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive. “Unsatisfaction job” is not a natural phrase, and “receive an unsatisfactory job” does not express the intended idea. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “agrue,” “soem,” and “cna,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural combinations and check spelling carefully. For instance, use “dissatisfaction with a job” or “unsatisfactory employment,” and vary repeated wording such as “situations” with suitable alternatives.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “an unsatisfactory job, which helps them to gain…” and conditional phrasing such as “if they try hard enough.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “To given an example,” “they do not consumed,” and “they should seeking,” where verb forms are incorrect. The sentence beginning “Additionally, if individuals received…” is also incomplete, and “they they try” contains an unnecessary repetition. Practise accurate verb patterns and complete sentence construction, then proofread for agreement, tense consistency, and repeated words.

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