Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Nowadays, it is a best thing for people fo face some bad situations like lake of job opportunities and shortage of money, while others argue that, it is better to try and improve such situations. This essay will discuss prospectives before representing my own opinion that, money play a crucial role in makin peolple life easier, reduce problems and enjoyb a comfortable life style.
On the one hand, some people facing difficult conditions like jobless and lake of money. People who faces these bad situation they are successed in the furture and perform better responsiblities for them selves and their childrens. Moreover, a highe salaries allow peoples to fulfil their basic needs and manage their daily expences. For example, people who recieve a high salary they can afford better health care and educational responsibilities.
On he other hand, there are several ways to improve that sitations. Firstly, people can work as in resturants, hotels, transportation and enertainment secrors to improve their finincial situations. Secondly, a good income can provide opportunities to enjoy life, to visiy some countries
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
You introduce the topic and signal that you will discuss both views, but the response only minimally fulfils the task. The first body paragraph mentions difficult circumstances and higher salaries, while the second begins to describe ways to improve finances; however, the view that people should accept a bad situation is not clearly explained, and your own opinion is only briefly suggested in the introduction. The discussion also ends abruptly, so neither side is developed with enough explanation or support. The response contains 165 words, which is 85 words below the required minimum; 12 words copied from the prompt were not counted. To improve, explain why some people accept hardship, develop the opposing argument with a specific example, and state and support your own position in a complete conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response has an identifiable introduction and two body paragraphs, and the signposts “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” show an attempt to organise the discussion. However, progression within the paragraphs is unclear: the first moves from facing difficult conditions to future success and then to the benefits of high salaries without explaining the links. The second paragraph stops after “to visit some countries,” leaving the argument unfinished and without a conclusion. Some linking is also mechanical, and references such as “these bad situation” do not clearly connect ideas. Use each paragraph to develop one view in a logical sequence, connect examples explicitly to the point, and finish with a concise conclusion that restates your opinion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “job opportunities,” “shortage of money,” “basic needs,” and “health care,” so the reader can identify the general subject. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or misspelled choices make parts difficult to understand, such as “lake of job opportunities,” “prospectives,” “responsiblities,” and “finincial situations.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “a best thing” and “enjoy a comfortable life style.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than trying to use more elaborate wording. Proofread spelling carefully and learn useful phrases for discussing hardship, employment, and financial security; this will make your ideas clearer and more appropriate for an academic essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “Moreover” and an example introduced by “For example.” However, the range is limited, and errors in sentence construction and agreement occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For instance, “People who faces these bad situation they are successed” has incorrect agreement and an unclear clause structure, while “money play a crucial role” does not match the singular subject. Articles and plurals are also inconsistent, as in “a highe salaries” and “these bad situation.” Practise building clear subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check agreement, articles, and singular/plural forms in every sentence.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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