Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In the essay we discuss about the problem of our enviroment that decline the species of plants and animal. In our enviroment most of the trigger diminish every living things. Most of the people state that are important environmental problem. Many problems in our environment that we discuss some main problems.

On the one hand, I think most of the issues in our enviroment that which the plants and animals loss the species. Its main issue of our environment are smoke. The smoke destroy the plants peole burn the garbage in the streets and the vehicle leave the engine smoke then tthe smoke goes into the air consequently, he damage the plant species nevertheless, the waste material of the factory. The factories leave the bad material into the canals. The factories distrub the plant species and the animals species. The waste material of the factory goes to the canals and canals meet to the river. The water of the factory include to the river water nevertheless, the water of the factory poison are included consequently the reduce the aquetic animals. The fishes decline the species.

On the other hand, the factories are important for the economy the growth of the country. In the factory we make the things then export to the other country and earn income for our nation. Vehicles are important for our life consequently, we travel easily one place to the other place.

In my opinion, the plants and the animals loss the sp

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the loss of plant and animal species as an environmental concern and gives relevant examples involving smoke, factory waste, rivers, and fish. It also mentions the economic value of factories and the usefulness of vehicles, which begins to address the other view. However, that view is not clearly explained as a more important environmental problem, and the essay does not develop a comparison between the two positions. The personal opinion is unfinished: “In my opinion, the plants and the animals loss the sp” does not communicate a complete position. The response is also three words below the required minimum. To improve, explain what other environmental problems people consider more serious, support both views, and finish with a clear, reasoned opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs beginning “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a concluding opinion. The factory-waste example also follows a basic sequence from canals to rivers and then to harm to fish. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow because the introduction repeats general statements without establishing the two views, and the second body paragraph discusses economic benefits rather than clearly presenting other environmental problems. Linking words such as “consequently” and “nevertheless” are repeated or do not show the intended relationship. The final paragraph is cut off, so the essay has no completed conclusion. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example directly to the view it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “species,” “factory,” “canals,” “river,” “economy,” and “export,” so the reader can identify the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make ideas unclear, such as “the trigger diminish every living things,” “the water of the factory poison are included,” and “the fishes decline the species.” Spelling errors, including “enviroment,” “peole,” and “aquetic,” also reduce accuracy. Aim to use precise environmental terms and natural combinations, for example, “industrial waste contaminates rivers” and “aquatic species decline.” Avoid repeating “factory” and “species” when a more specific reference, such as “industrial pollution” or “wildlife,” would make the meaning clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple statements and longer sentences, including a cause-and-effect sequence about factory waste reaching rivers. However, control of sentence structure is inconsistent, and errors often make relationships between ideas hard to understand. For example, “the smoke destroy the plants” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “the factories leave the bad material into the canals” has an unclear grammatical pattern. The opening phrase “we discuss about” is also not formed correctly, and several sentences run together without effective punctuation, particularly the long sentence beginning “The smoke destroy the plants.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with clauses using clear punctuation. Check agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries during revision.

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