Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

There are numerous factors which affects our environment brutally. According to the people of different regions,they says that the main cause of environmental problem is declined in the specific species of fauna and flora whereas some people says that there are more problems of environmental problems besides these. I would support my point of view that our environment is affected by many factors equaly with few reasons.

In my opinion, Chloroflorocarbons a gas used in i.e, air conditioners, refrigerators and in fragrances or perfumes is diectly playing a key role in damaging and harming our environment. This gas contains the chemicals which straight out causes the protective layer of atmosphere which is Ozone. CFC gas when excrete out from appliances, goes into the atmosphere and initiates depleting Ozone layer. This layer protects our environment from harmful UV radiations of sun to reach at our earth.

Continue to previous paragraph, our environment is utmostly harmed by this CFC gas.Thre are also so many conditions which are establishing a major role in destroying our environment including dirty sewage conditions, air pollution, water pollution and also land pollution. We should work out on the control of these factors so that we could keep our environment clean and able to liv peacefully.

As far as myself is concerned, i suppose that if we all work on these factors together we can get victory in developing a healthy environment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response touches on environmental damage and gives a personal view, but it only minimally addresses the actual discussion. The task asks you to explain both the loss of species and other environmental problems; instead, most of the essay focuses on CFCs, pollution and the ozone layer, with almost no explanation of why species loss is a major concern. Your position is also unclear: you say environmental factors affect the environment “equally,” but do not compare their importance or justify that judgement. The examples about CFCs are relevant to other environmental problems, yet they need clearer explanation and support. The response is 16 words below the required minimum, which further limits the opportunity to develop both sides. Explain each view and state directly which you consider more important, with reasons and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some paragraphing, and the essay moves from an introduction to environmental examples and then a concluding opinion. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the paragraphs do not clearly organise the two views in the question. The phrase “Continue to previous paragraph” does not establish a useful link, and the third paragraph repeats the focus on CFCs before listing several types of pollution without explaining how they connect. The conclusion largely repeats the general claim that people should work together rather than summarising a comparison. Use one body paragraph for species loss and another for other environmental problems, then link them with clear, accurate transitions and a conclusion that follows from the discussion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “fauna and flora,” “protective layer,” “UV radiations” and “air pollution,” so the reader can identify the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, sometimes making meaning harder to follow. For example, “environment is affected by many factors equaly” and “work out on the control” are not natural expressions, while “Thre” and “diectly” are spelling errors. “Chloroflorocarbons” is also misspelled; the standard term is “chlorofluorocarbons.” Aim for precise, natural phrases such as “species are becoming extinct” and “reduce pollution,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay includes some attempts at complex sentences, such as “CFC gas when excrete out from appliances, goes into the atmosphere and initiates depleting Ozone layer,” but these structures are often faulty. Agreement errors appear in “factors which affects” and “some people says,” and the opening sentence “According to the people of different regions, they says” has an unclear, incorrect construction. Articles and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “which is Ozone” and “This layer protects our environment … to reach at our earth.” These errors can make the intended relationships difficult to understand. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and build complex sentences around a clear subject and verb; then check articles, punctuation and clause structure.

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