Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Music connects people from different cultures and and different aged peoples all together in a row.I agree with the statement beacuse I have seen and enjoyed many concerts of my favourite singer in my life and i have seen that from every corner of the world lot people come to enjoy and feel the refreshment of the concert not beacuse its just a concert because they all love music from inside their hearts.

Recently two weeks back I went to a concert of my favourite singer called Atif Islam The concert was organized by a xyz group of company.

But there I saw like thousands of fans were cheering and clapping for the singer to sing a song and they all were from different places i was just seeing all the crowd and listening to the concert the concert was amazing the singer was singing and also danceing we all were like together in the concert we actually do not know each other but at that time when the artist started to perform we all felt together there was no differences we all just experienced the full concert there was many different aged uncles and many female persons in the concert we all together enjoyes the night.

Although, from my prespective I will Defenitely not miss any other concert of other popular singing performance in the nation it creates unity and balanced life also reduces stress and keeps our mind fresh when we go to a music concert.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that music brings people together, and the concert experience gives a relevant personal example. The description of fans from different places cheering and enjoying the performance supports the cultural aspect of the question. However, the response develops this single example at length and gives little separate explanation of how music connects people of different ages; mentioning “different aged uncles” is not enough to show how age differences are bridged. The conclusion adds benefits such as reducing stress, but these are not fully linked to the question. The response is also two words below the required minimum. Develop both culture and age as distinct reasons, and explain each with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is a recognisable overall structure: an opening statement, a personal example, and a concluding opinion. The concert account also follows a basic sequence from arriving at the event to describing the audience and performance. However, the middle section is one long paragraph containing several ideas, and the repeated references to “the concert” and “we all” make progression difficult to follow. Connections between points are often unclear, while “Although” at the start of the conclusion does not introduce a contrasting idea. Use separate paragraphs for your main reasons, organise each around one central point, and use linking expressions only when their logical relationship is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “concert,” “fans,” “cheering,” “clapping,” and “unity,” so the reader can understand the general subject and your positive view. However, the range is limited and several phrases are awkward or imprecise, such as “different aged peoples,” “from every corner of the world lot people,” and “balanced life.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “beacuse,” “danceing,” and “prespective,” also reduce accuracy. Repetition of basic words such as “concert,” “together,” and “enjoy” limits variety. Build a more precise range for describing audiences, shared experiences, and the effects of music, and check spelling and natural word combinations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple statements and longer sentences, but control is inconsistent, and complex sentences often become difficult to follow. For example, the opening combines several ideas without clear sentence boundaries, while “there was many different aged uncles” has a subject–verb agreement error. Tense and sentence construction are also problematic in “we all together enjoyes the night,” and the long concert description contains several clauses joined without adequate punctuation. Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, including lowercase “i” and missing full stops. Practise building accurate sentences with one main idea, then add subordinate clauses carefully; check agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries during revision.

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