Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often beleive that music is often used as a source to gather people from different cultural background and diverse age groups. From my prospective, music is an integral part of civilization and the main source of entertainment. . I am completely agree to this concept, because it has an ability to unite people from diverse surroundings. In music there is no compulsion of age, culture or religion to enjoy and listening it.

Music is a universal language to connect and gather people from different historical and cultural background. Music have multiple genra to listen like sufi, hiphop, classical, jazz, pop music. Different people have different taste of music. it also depends on the origin from which country you listen for instance, people in pakistan more into sufi and classical music. Another major significance is music have powerful impact in mental health. It have positive developments on mind, to uplift mood, relive stress and have therapeutic effect to soul.

In todays modern world music is accessible to everyone, on just one click you can listen many varity of music. it is advanced in many ways, include modern tech equipments and mainly the concept of auto tune also introduced. Despite having many benefits listening loud music have adverse effect on person mental health. Excessive use of headphones to listen music to extended period of time have severe effect and damage hearing. Some types of musics have an inappropriate or offensive lyrics so we avoid to listen these musics. Excessive listening also distract students from studies. Numerous students might listen music to refresh their minds but sometimes forget about time so face challenges to cover their homework.

In conclusion music is an artistic way to communicate with different cultural heritage. it is a way to feel calm and relax while on the other hand excessive use can also distract students and causes hearing loss. therefore, listen music in a balance approch have positive impact to society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you completely agree that music can unite people, and you give relevant reasons, including its role as a shared language and its effects on mood. The examples of different genres and musical preferences in Pakistan help illustrate cultural variety. You also mention possible disadvantages, such as distraction and hearing damage, but these points are not consistently connected back to whether music brings age groups and cultures together. The discussion focuses more on music’s general benefits and risks than on how it specifically connects people across ages. To develop the response further, explain a concrete situation—such as people of different generations enjoying a concert or family celebration—and show how it supports your position. Some ideas are relevant but remain general or only partly developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The main ideas are generally grouped sensibly, and phrases such as “Another major significance” and “In conclusion” help signal progression. However, the second body paragraph shifts from music’s accessibility to its disadvantages, so the relationship between these points and the central argument is not always clear. Some links are mechanical, and references such as “it” in “it is advanced in many ways” do not clearly identify what is being discussed. The conclusion repeats the benefits and drawbacks rather than drawing together the argument about people of different ages and cultures. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the question to make the progression more consistent.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “universal language,” “cultural background,” “therapeutic effect” and “hearing loss.” These expressions show an effort to discuss music and its social and personal effects. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the phrasing awkward, as in “beleive,” “prospective,” “genra,” “varity” and “relive stress.” Some collocations are also unnatural: “gather people” and “positive developments on mind” would be clearer as “bring people together” and “positive effects on the mind.” The vocabulary is adequate for communicating the main ideas, but greater accuracy and more natural combinations would make the response more precise. Proofread spelling and check common word partnerships when revising.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a reason clause beginning “because” and a contrast introduced by “while on the other hand.” The overall meaning is usually understandable, but errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “Music have” and “It have” should use “has,” while “I am completely agree” should be “I completely agree.” The sentence beginning “In music there is no compulsion…” also has an unclear grammatical structure. Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, including the extra full stop after “entertainment” and lowercase sentence openings such as “it.” Practise checking subject–verb agreement and building complete sentences; then proofread punctuation and capital letters.

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