Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Music is something which brings the joy to people, there are many people who listen to the music without even knowing the language in which the song is sung.

So i am totally agree with this, people from different cultures like other culture's songs which increase cultural diversity.

i was in university, when Sindh culture day was celebrated, even Pathans, Muhajirs and other community persons came to join us and enjoyed alot, i was in shock becuase on social media, they are against each other.

music brings the apart ones to closesness, it causes the smiles on the faces of people no matter who is singing.

Further, it is guarenteed that a single song can be favourite of a child, an adult and an old person too. I was in hostel, we had cook who usually came into the rooms to alert us about the meal, i was listining to a song, and he said please increase the volume because it is my favourite song too. So it can make other aged people sit together and discuss.

music also help armed forces to be motivated, music help students to be focused while studying, music help labours to be untired, music makes our road journey very very entertaining.

in all these cases, without music, our hearts may get apart, i may not be speaking to the cook in a way i am speaking right now. So in my opinion, music brings people together.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the start: you “totally agree” that music brings people together, and you support this with relevant examples from university and hostel life. The Sindh Culture Day anecdote illustrates connections across communities, while the cook recognising a favourite song supports your point about different ages. You also address music’s wider social effects. However, some claims—such as music helping students focus and workers avoid tiredness—are listed rather than explained, and the response focuses more on general benefits than on how music specifically bridges cultural and age differences. The response is 8 words below the required minimum. Develop the examples further and add a brief explanation of why shared musical experiences overcome differences.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable progression: it states your opinion, gives examples from university and hostel, adds further benefits, and ends by restating the view. This overall arrangement makes the main argument understandable. However, the ideas are presented in one continuous block, so the reader has little visual guidance between the examples and the list of other benefits. Some links are also mechanical or unclear: “Further” introduces a new point, but the following age example would be clearer as a separate paragraph, and “in all these cases” does not precisely refer to the different examples. Use paragraphs to group related points and make links explicit—for example, one paragraph on cultural connections and another on music shared across generations. This would make the progression smoother and cohesion less dependent on simple transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “cultural diversity,” “armed forces,” “focused,” and “entertaining.” The examples also allow you to express ideas about community and shared preferences. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “brings the joy,” “brings the apart ones to closesness,” and “make other aged people sit together.” Spelling errors, including “becuase,” “listining,” and “guarenteed,” also reduce the accuracy of the vocabulary. Some repeated wording, particularly “music help” and “music brings,” limits variety. Build a bank of natural phrases such as “bring people closer,” “appeal across generations,” and “strengthen social bonds,” and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including the sentence beginning “I was in university, when…” and the explanation of how a song can be enjoyed by people of different ages. The main meaning is generally recoverable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “i am totally agree” has an incorrect verb pattern, while “music also help” and “music help students” need subject–verb agreement. Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention: the opening joins two complete ideas with a comma, and “i was in university, when” uses an unnecessary comma. Capitalise “I” consistently and check verb forms, agreement, and punctuation when editing. More accurate control of these patterns, alongside varied sentence structures, would make the argument easier to read.

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