Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Most of the people think that the music is the one of the best way to bringing people of different culture and ages together.

Music is one of the best thing to make people happy and feel them peace

I am totally agree with that statment because the music is one of the best thing which make people happy and felt them peace

in my opinion music is best way to reduce pressure and be them in peace

i want to tell my on exprience about music whenever i am feeling sad or happy i would like to listen music i mostly like plasent music in many different cuntries there are many club where people go to relex them and enjoy there life

in my own country Pakistan most of the people like music

people get together whenever there is any music show

there are many singers in my country

but i think so people have to enjoy good music reather them bad music and bad party

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear position—“I am totally agree with that”—and give relevant reasons, including music helping you feel better and people gathering at music shows in Pakistan. These examples show an attempt to address how music can connect people. However, the response develops the idea only minimally: it does not explain clearly how music brings together people of different cultures and ages, and the point about enjoying “good music” rather than “bad music” is not supported. The response also contains 167 words, below the required 250, so the task is not sufficiently developed. To strengthen it, explain how shared musical events or styles can connect specific age groups and cultures, and support each point with a clear example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a basic sequence: it gives an opinion, mentions music’s effect on your mood, and then refers to music in Pakistan. This provides some relevant organisation, and the personal example helps the reader follow one part of your reasoning. However, ideas are mostly presented as separate statements rather than developed in a clear progression. There are no paragraph breaks, and links between points are limited; for example, the move from your personal listening habits to clubs in different countries is abrupt. Repetition of the claim that music makes people happy and peaceful also limits progression. Use separate paragraphs for your position, supporting reasons and conclusion, and connect each example explicitly to the question of bringing different ages and cultures together.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use basic vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “music show,” “singers,” “sad,” and “happy,” and the reader can generally identify your main meaning. However, the range is narrow and several phrases are repeated, particularly the idea that music makes people happy and peaceful. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “feel them peace,” “relex them,” and “bad party”; spelling errors such as “statment,” “exprience,” and “cuntries” also reduce accuracy. These limitations make the response less precise when discussing cultural and age differences. Build a topic-specific vocabulary set and check spelling, word forms, and natural combinations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including “whenever i am feeling sad or happy i would like to listen music,” so there is some effort to express a personal example and a time relationship. However, sentence structures are mostly simple, and errors occur frequently in basic patterns. Examples include “I am totally agree,” “the one of the best way,” and “people go to relex them,” which show problems with verb forms, articles, agreement, and sentence construction. Punctuation and capitalisation are also inconsistent, making several ideas run together. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled clauses using “because,” “when,” and “which.” Check subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries during revision.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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