Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Nowadays, Music has become an increasingly important and widly disscus issue in the all world . some people conceidered it that to listen Music is good habit while others opposite it .

First of all , some people believe that Music good for brin health. when they in stress Music help them for mind relaxation. some believes that Music is good way to spent free time without boring .

secondly , many people believes that music is a bad habit beacuse when any person victom it . He does not alive it beacuse music desstroed her mind health and peace .

Therefore, many people avoid the music

In my opinion, some times listen music good for mind relaxation and peace but we doesn't make a habit . It is generally believe that Music is a good way to bring peopleof different culture and verious languages on one stage .From my prospective , in free time listenmusic is a good way to spend time but we doesn't get used to all time . If we use it long term music have many dis advantages on health of mind .

As a result, music good way to collect people of many countries , languagesdiffrent cultures and tradition togather . it is a good way .Music is a good habit to spend time

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You give a general opinion that music can help people relax and bring people from different cultures together, and you briefly mention a contrasting view that music may harm mental health. However, the response only partially addresses the question: the discussion of cultural and age groups is not developed, and there is no example or explanation showing how music actually connects people. Your position is also difficult to follow because you first present opposing views, then say music is beneficial only sometimes, without clearly explaining the extent of your agreement. The response is 30 words below the required minimum, which further limits the space available to develop relevant reasons. State your position clearly and support it with specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response using an opening, points introduced by “First of all” and “secondly,” an opinion paragraph, and a conclusion. These markers give the reader some sense of structure. However, the ideas do not progress clearly: the paragraph about music being harmful is not connected to the claim that it brings cultures together, and the conclusion repeats that music is good without resolving the earlier reservations. Several sentences are fragments or difficult to connect, such as “Therefore, many people avoid the music.” Use one paragraph for each main reason, link each reason to the question, and make the conclusion restate a consistent position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “mind relaxation,” “different culture,” “languages,” and “tradition,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, with “good way,” “music,” and “spend time” appearing repeatedly. Frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word combinations also make parts of the response difficult to understand, for example “widly disscus issue,” “victom it,” and “desstroed her mind health.” Choose more precise expressions and check spelling carefully. For instance, describe music as a “shared cultural experience” or say it “promotes social connection,” rather than repeatedly calling it a “good way.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both short statements and longer sentences, including a contrast with “but,” and the reader can sometimes identify your intended meaning. However, sentence structures are mostly simple, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries are frequent. Examples include “Music good for,” “Music help them,” “we doesn't make a habit,” and “music good way to collect people.” These patterns make relationships between ideas unclear. Practise building complete sentences with a subject and correctly formed verb, such as “Music helps people relax” and “We should not make listening to music a habit.” Then add controlled complex sentences using “because” or “although.”

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