Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, every religion people are interested for entertainment. Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. I totally agree with this statement because in my country specially every occasion all types of individuals attend together.

On the one hand, entertainment is a basic right of all human life like teenger to older. At present time, younger are loving music because they like them. For example, in my towen every year arrange a big party and there together every relagion people. Moreover, all world divided by culture that's why created lot's of issue. That solution to arrange a program in your city then every one come there. Entertainment is a good way to meet different cultuers people.

In addition,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear position—“I totally agree”—and your examples of people attending a local party and meeting across cultures are relevant to the topic. However, the response addresses the question only minimally: it does not explain in enough detail how music itself brings people together, and the point about entertainment being a “basic right” is not clearly connected to the argument. The discussion of different ages is also brief and unsupported. Most importantly, the response contains 110 words, which is 140 words below the required minimum; 18 words copied from the task prompt were excluded from that count. Develop separate reasons, explain each one, and add specific examples to address both cultures and age groups more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening paragraph gives your opinion, and “On the one hand” and “Moreover” introduce further points. The local-party example also gives the reader a possible line of development. However, the ideas are not arranged into a coherent argument, and several links between sentences are unclear. For instance, “all world divided by culture” is followed by “That solution to arrange a program,” without explaining the connection. The final “In addition,” is left unfinished, so the response has no completed conclusion. Use one paragraph for each main reason, connect each example explicitly to music, and finish by restating your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “cultures,” “entertainment,” “occasion,” and “individuals,” and the reader can generally identify your subject. However, the range is basic and several word choices or spellings make the meaning difficult to follow, such as “every relagion people,” “towen,” and “all types of individuals attend together.” Some phrases are also imprecise, including “younger are loving music” and “all world divided by culture.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and use more specific language about shared musical experiences, such as attending concerts or dancing together. Proofread spelling and choose words that express your intended meaning precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response includes a few attempts to connect ideas, such as “because” and “that's why,” but most sentences follow a simple pattern, and control is inconsistent. Errors in sentence structure and agreement appear in examples such as “every religion people are interested for entertainment” and “younger are loving music because they like them.” The sentence “For example, in my towen every year arrange a big party” lacks a clear subject and has an incomplete verb structure. The final fragment, “In addition,” also leaves a sentence unfinished. Practise building complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and check articles, agreement, and pronoun references. More accurate sentence patterns will make your ideas easier to understand.

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