Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Several individuals say that music is an efficient way to bring people together from various traditions. Moreover, i strongly believe that music is an effective medium for connecting people from different culture backgrounds. Therefore, in this task we will discuss about the reasons behind their opinions.

To begin with, Music fascinates people around the world and music is specifically known for its healing power. Firstly, a large number of people believe that music serves as a bridge between different culture. For this reason. people from different ages attend music festivals from various countries. For example, concerts are highly popular over the world and a substantial range of people spend their money for these concerts where different individuals from several cultures come close together.

However, another reason is that music festivals are greatly beneficial for financially to the authorities. Besides, it creates more attraction towards tourists and people are more likely to invest in these countries. For example. whenever the authorities organized a concert, a number of companies from different regions invest their money.

In conclusion, along with that reasons, i personally believe that music has the power to bring people from various culture backgrounds together. Thus, government and the society should arrange some festivals where people are taking it interestingly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by expressing agreement with the idea that music brings people together. However, the essay is significantly under the 250-word minimum requirement, which limits the depth of the arguments. While the first body paragraph touches on the social aspect, the second body paragraph shifts focus to the financial benefits for authorities, which is less relevant to the core question of cultural and age-related unity. The ideas are under-developed due to the brevity of the response, and the conclusion does not fully synthesize the main points. To improve, you should expand on your examples and ensure every paragraph directly supports your central position.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Firstly', and 'In conclusion'. However, the transition between the social benefits of music and the financial benefits in the second body paragraph is abrupt and lacks a strong logical link to the main argument. Additionally, some sentences are fragmented or repetitive, such as 'For this reason. people from different ages...', where the punctuation is incorrect. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You use basic phrases like 'a large number of people' and 'spend their money', which are functional but repetitive. There are also some minor collocation errors, such as 'different culture backgrounds' instead of 'different cultural backgrounds' and 'organized a concert' (tense inconsistency). To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'cross-cultural exchange', 'universal language', or 'socio-economic impact', and ensure you use the correct word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'discuss about' (unnecessary preposition), 'financially to the authorities' (incorrect adverb usage), and 'along with that reasons' (incorrect determiner). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several instances of sentence fragments starting with a capital letter after a period. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors limits the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage will help improve your accuracy.

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