Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Nowadays, some individuals claim that music is a convenient way of bringing people of diverse cultures and ages together. I largely disagree with this view. This essay will discuss my prospectives regarding to this trend and offers various examples further.
To begin with, I believe that arts and sports also is a good way of make people together. To elaborate it, individuals are highly addicated with national acitvites despite the music. For example, some sports like cricket, football, hockey which is connected more people from different countries and shows them their cravings related to favourite things. As a result, they can share their interest and enjoy that together.
Furthermore, the other think is travelling also expand the knowledge about cultures as well as meet some stranger where they share feelings and emotions to make strong bond with them. For instance, students travel to abroad for their higher education and learn new thinks like how people live at that place and communicate with others. Therefore, this consider as a best chance to boost our understanding of different cultures.
However, some individuals state that music bring them by heartly via feelings and emotions. To explain it, they think that listen music is the best way to getting out from the hectic situations and that is the reason why many countries give opportunity to play a concert and spread the awareness of their cultures towards to people.
To conclude, I believe in despite of music there are manu activities like sports and arts which also bringing individuals of various cultures and ages together, while some think that music is connect them with emotions and feealing because they like to listen it.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the role of music in bringing people together, though the position is somewhat contradictory. You state you 'largely disagree' with the premise, yet your arguments focus on suggesting alternatives (sports and travel) rather than explaining why music itself fails to unite people. The ideas are relevant but remain somewhat superficial. To improve, ensure your main arguments directly support your stated position. For example, if you disagree, you should argue why music might actually cause division or why it is less effective than other mediums, rather than simply listing other activities that also work.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'the other think is' and 'to explain it' are used to transition between ideas, but they do not always flow naturally. Additionally, referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the connection between the ideas is slightly muddled. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words (e.g., using 'furthermore', 'conversely', or 'consequently') would help the flow of your arguments significantly.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation that occasionally impede clarity. For instance, 'addicated with national acitvites' and 'bring them by heartly' are non-standard expressions. You attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, but the lack of precision limits your score. To reach a higher band, focus on learning common collocations (e.g., 'foster cultural understanding' instead of 'expand the knowledge about cultures') and ensure you are using words in their correct grammatical form.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('arts and sports also is'), incorrect preposition usage ('connected more people'), and spelling errors ('acitvites', 'manu', 'feealing'). While these errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they are frequent enough to be distracting. You should focus on proofreading for basic errors like pluralisation and verb tense consistency, and try to incorporate more complex structures with greater accuracy.
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