Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Music has sparked considerable argument in recent years .Although some believe that music gather people from diverse cultures .Others argue that entertainment alone is not crucial in bringing people together .In my view, I largely agree this will be explained in the essay.

The primary reason for agreement is music is global form of entertainment that cuts across all age groups. For instance, after along busy year of various activities in farms, school and offices .People assemble in stadiums for relaxation .Moreover, music especially from different cultures entertains and expose individuals in creating new friends.

On the other hand, learning of others cultural values and language is important factor during the gathering .For example, the indeginous songs and poet that are recited through local dialect will make the others to try and grab something. In addition,it is also form of revenue ,when these different groups converge together ,they do registrations the money collected is used for charity in the same communities to help the valunarable and in small homes for disabilities. However ,others use songs in times of war for motivation and others in work places for unity and peace. This clearly indicates that music is loved and charizsd by all ages in all communities.

In conclusion , I firmly agree that music brings people of different age culture together .Finaliy, other than music ,games and sports ,public meetings ,school meetings can also bring people together. For example a public hospital gather people from different backgrounds and of dervise age groups.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by expressing a clear position, though the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While you mention music as a global form of entertainment and a tool for cultural exchange, some points, such as the mention of 'revenue' and 'charity', are not clearly linked to the core argument of bringing people together. The conclusion introduces new, irrelevant information about public hospitals and sports, which does not support your initial thesis. To improve, ensure that every paragraph directly supports your main argument and avoid introducing new topics in the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is often interrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. For example, the transition 'In addition, it is also form of revenue' feels disconnected from the previous point about cultural values. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the sentence 'make the others to try and grab something', where the object of the action is vague. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'In conclusion', they are sometimes used mechanically. Improving the flow between sentences would significantly enhance the readability of your work.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several instances of incorrect word choice and spelling errors that hinder precision. For example, you use 'gather' instead of 'brings together', 'indeginous' (indigenous), 'valunarable' (vulnerable), and 'charizsd' (cherished). These errors are frequent enough to cause some difficulty for the reader. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure you proofread for spelling. You have a basic range, but you need to demonstrate more control over less common lexical items to convey your ideas more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include missing articles ('is global form'), incorrect verb forms ('music gather people'), and punctuation errors, such as placing periods in the middle of sentences. The sentence structure is often fragmented, which affects the overall clarity. While you attempt complex sentences, they are often faulty, leading to confusion. Focusing on basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement will help you reduce the frequency of these errors and improve your overall accuracy.

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