Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

These days a group of consider that music is a better way of increase togetherness among people of varied cultural beliefs and age groups. I am completely in agreement with given statement and upcoming essay will shed light on positive impact of music.

To begin with, the most important one is that music concerts are attended by huge number of followers from different countries. The fan share common interests and ideology which enhance bonding among them. Another crucial point is learning new language. Individual who like celebrities from other nations also learn new language to understand music. In result, it helps them to familiar with a lot of social issues internationally.

Moreover, the celebrities also represent various concerns of their respective countries through music such as education, poverty, mental health, environment to make people aware. Celebrities have more power to influence every age group such as youth, teenagers and older adults as well. Since folks listen them very carefully and instantly follow them in term of clothes, shoes and diet. So, musicians play vital role for positive change in society.

For intense, artists also provide fund to deprived communities to fulfill basic necessities such as water, food and shelter. These actions of welfare brings people together and make earth a better place to live.

To conclude, in my opinion music is a such a impressive way to bring people on one stage either they belong to different culture or age. Any art helps to connect people each other due to their common interests.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by agreeing that music brings people together. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the point about learning a new language to understand music is a good idea but lacks specific examples or deeper explanation. The argument regarding celebrities influencing social issues is relevant, but the connection back to 'bringing people together' could be more explicitly linked. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more detailed, concrete examples rather than general statements, ensuring that every point directly supports your central thesis.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is a basic progression of ideas from concerts to language learning and then to the influence of celebrities. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'In result' (should be 'As a result') and 'For intense' (should be 'For instance'). Additionally, some transitions between sentences feel abrupt. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'these actions') is always clear will help the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'ideology', 'social issues', and 'deprived communities'. However, there are several instances of incorrect word choice or collocation, such as 'a group of consider' (should be 'a group of people consider'), 'a better way of increase' (should be 'a better way of increasing'), and 'folks listen them' (should be 'folks listen to them'). To improve, focus on learning the correct grammatical forms of words and common collocations to express your ideas with more precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the fluency of the text. Common issues include missing articles ('the' given statement), incorrect verb forms ('way of increase'), and preposition errors ('listen them'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and pluralization. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, especially regarding articles and prepositions, will significantly improve your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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