Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In the contemporary era, music helps to bring old cultures and traditions. Some people believe that music is a good way to bring ages together. This essay intends to discuss my perspective along with the suitable arguements in the subsequent paragraphs.

I firmly believe that there are number of ways to bring back different cultures. In my opinion, music is a good way but old tradition also give old vibes in the modern world. Moreover, old material as well as style used in houses also gives old vibes. Furthermore, historical books in which it describes full discription of family and background. Apart from this, grandparents also talk about old culture which gives soothing vibe and people feel rejuvenated while listening to them.

Further enhancing my views old clothes, old paintings also a good way to bring people of different ages and cultures. A survey conducted by a prestigious newspaper of Britain shows that 10 out of 9 people say dance is a good way to bring people of different culture and ages together.

However it is believed that music plays a significant role to bring people of various cultures as it feels over the moon while listening to music. Additionally, past singers and artists focuses more on their culture.

Different people have different opinions about the statement but I have sound reasons to advocate that music is a positive way to bring people together of different cultures but dance, styles, paitings, books also plays part and parcel role in life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt but struggles with focus. While you acknowledge the role of music, you spend a significant portion of the essay discussing unrelated topics like 'old clothes,' 'paintings,' and 'historical books,' which distracts from the core argument about music's ability to bridge cultural and generational gaps. The position is somewhat unclear because you shift focus away from the prompt's specific subject. To improve, ensure that every paragraph directly supports your stance on music rather than listing other cultural elements. The ideas are present but lack the depth and logical development required for a higher band score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. Transitions like 'Moreover' and 'Furthermore' are used, but they often connect disparate ideas rather than building a cohesive argument. For example, the transition from discussing music to discussing 'old material as well as style used in houses' is abrupt and confusing. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the overall structure feels like a list of points rather than a well-developed argument. To improve, focus on creating a clear 'topic sentence' for each paragraph that relates directly to the prompt and ensures each subsequent sentence supports that specific point.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is generally basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'old vibes' are used multiple times, which is informal and lacks the precision expected in an academic essay. You attempt some more complex vocabulary, such as 'rejuvenated' and 'prestigious,' but these are often used in contexts that feel slightly unnatural. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'part and parcel role,' which is a misuse of the idiom. To improve, focus on learning collocations—words that naturally go together—and avoid repeating simple descriptors like 'old' or 'good.'

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'old tradition also give,' 'books... describes,' 'paintings... plays'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple or contain structural errors, such as '10 out of 9 people,' which is logically impossible. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often inaccurate. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and proofreading for common errors like missing articles or incorrect pluralization. Practicing the construction of complex sentences using subordinating conjunctions would also be beneficial.

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