Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Fewer people tell that music is a beneficial way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. I agree with this statement.

Some individuals say that music is a good way of bringing people from different cultures and ages together. Most of the people like music and they attend various concert and musical occasion. It makes them to meet different cultural individuals who are come from. Many people can enjoy this musical concert and meet their favourite musician. This is the good way to engagged many people who are from different places. For example, if once who wanted to go to the concert and meet friends and singer this is the right way to meet them. So, this is the most important system to make it a public meeting place.

Another, Some people think that music is not a good process to bring people from different culturals and ages together. People think this is most expensive for going concert and meet various types of people. But fewer people agree this reason. As a result they can not go out for meet them. For instance, some people think that this thing waste their valuable time and waste their money. For this reason, they can not think about this.

However, I agree with this statement. Because music is the most important part of instrument where a lot of people come this place and make this stage as a meeting place. So, I agree on it.

In conclusion, I can ay that music is the way to intruduce to many people who are come from different places is important rather than who are not interested about it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by stating an agreement with the idea that music brings people together. However, the development of ideas is limited and repetitive. The arguments provided are somewhat superficial, such as mentioning that people attend concerts to meet friends, but they lack depth or specific, well-explained examples. The essay tends to over-generalize, and the counter-argument in the second paragraph is not clearly linked to the main thesis, making the overall position feel slightly disjointed. To improve, you should focus on expanding your points with more detailed explanations and ensuring that every paragraph directly supports your central argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as starting a paragraph with 'Another,' which is not a standard transition. Referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of ideas. For instance, the transition between the counter-argument and your own opinion is abrupt. To achieve a higher score, you should use a wider variety of linking words more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects back to your main thesis.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic words like 'good,' 'people,' and 'meet.' There are also several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'musical occasion' instead of 'musical event' and 'instrument' used incorrectly to describe music as a concept. Some phrases are awkward, such as 'different cultural individuals who are come from.' To improve, you should aim to use more precise vocabulary and collocations. Expanding your range of synonyms and learning how to use words in their correct context will significantly enhance your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Fewer people tell'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'who are come from'), and misuse of articles and prepositions. While the meaning is generally understandable, these persistent errors interfere with the fluency of the writing. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, particularly verb tenses and word order. Incorporating more complex structures, such as relative clauses or conditional sentences, would also help demonstrate a wider range of grammatical control.

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