Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Music plays significant role in every tradition all over the world that connects people altogether. I agree music does play a part in bringing people together.

Human are divided all over the world that are bordered by lands called countries. Each country has own history and cultures that are still taking place in contemporary world. However, countries still have to communicate to trade or export goods to support their own country means people have to converse with different language, thus different traditions. All the language or commuting skill needs own time to possess, but fortunately there are inventions that are carried out by people centuries ago named instruments. Nowadays there are even jobs for people who makes songs and music. For instance, Michael Jackson is loved by billions of people all over the world for his music.

Music includes feelings in itself and individuals appreciate it based on their preference of songs. Many international singers has wide fanbase from every corner of earth. In my country there are band named THE HU, which is popular amongst the world. The band is admired by mass of natives in my home country because it has included unique whispering that people honor in my nation. The musicians who include their country's culturaly significant element embedded in their music help to get their country recognition.

In conclusion, music can interact individuals from different religion and all age group or even gender, it is a wholesome concept that does not left anybody behind for who they are.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by agreeing that music brings people together. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention Michael Jackson and the band 'THE HU', the connection between these examples and the core argument—how music specifically bridges cultural and age gaps—is not fully explored. The essay tends to drift into general statements about trade and language rather than focusing on the social function of music. To improve, ensure that every paragraph directly supports your thesis with clear, analytical explanations rather than descriptive statements about the music industry.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed. For instance, the transition from discussing international trade to the invention of instruments is abrupt and lacks a clear logical link. Cohesive devices are used, but they are sometimes mechanical or misused, such as 'thus different traditions' and 'commuting skill'. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally from the previous one would significantly enhance the clarity of your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'commuting skill' (likely meaning communication skills), 'mass of natives', and 'interact individuals' (which should be 'bring individuals together' or 'connect individuals'). Additionally, 'culturaly' is misspelled. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and academic vocabulary, and ensure that you are using words in their correct grammatical context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Many international singers has', 'band named THE HU... is popular'), missing articles (e.g., 'plays significant role'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'does not left anybody behind'). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevent the writing from reaching a higher level of accuracy. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage.

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