Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Task 2
In this contemporary era, music plays an important role in everyone's life. Some people argued that music is a great way to bring people together, even if they are from different cultures and age-groups. Although music is a significant factor for bringing people together. There are numerous other methods that are useful.
On the one hand, music is a good way to express fellings and emotions. People with same taste of music shows same vibes, even if they are older or younger. For instance, in foreign nations, individuals usually enjoy punjabi songs because they are energetic and romantic, even they are from different culture and age-group moreover, music helps people to feel relax and refresh their mind, so many individuals likes their vibes and background music. As a result, they dance with people from different culture and traditions at ocassions or even concerts.
On the other hand, music is not only a crucial way. language and communication both are predominant to bring people together. If, they may not understand the meaning of songs, they may not likely to indulge on them and feel bored. Another important factor is family celebrations and festivals, when people invite their friends, relatives and family, even they are older, younger and from other culture. They
Celebrate with each other , enjoy delicious meals and try to exchange traditions . As a result , they exchange cultures , learn from experience and enhance their bond with them .
To conclude, music helps to bring people together because it gives special vibes and energetic atmosphere , where people can enjoy in a freedom , but we do not overlook the other factors that are also equally important such as language , communication and ocassions .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt by acknowledging the role of music in bringing people together while introducing alternative factors. However, the position is slightly inconsistent; the introduction suggests music is a significant factor, but the body paragraphs focus heavily on comparing music to other methods rather than fully exploring the extent of its influence. The development of ideas is somewhat limited, particularly in the second paragraph where the argument about language and family celebrations is introduced but not deeply linked back to the core question of music's efficacy. To improve, ensure that each paragraph directly supports your central thesis and provides more nuanced analysis rather than just listing alternative factors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude' to signal shifts in the argument. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'even they are older, younger and from other culture' which lacks proper conjunctions. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and some sentences are fragmented, which disrupts the flow. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words will help the essay read more naturally and cohesively.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'contemporary era', 'energetic', and 'traditions'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'fellings' instead of 'feelings', 'ocassions' instead of 'occasions', and 'likes their vibes' which is informal. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on repetitive phrasing. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and academic vocabulary, and ensure you proofread for basic spelling errors that detract from the professional tone of the essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, they often contain grammatical errors, such as 'If, they may not understand the meaning of songs, they may not likely to indulge on them'. There are frequent issues with subject-verb agreement and punctuation, such as unnecessary commas and sentence fragments like 'Although music is a significant factor for bringing people together.' These errors occur regularly but do not completely impede communication. To improve, practice using complex structures more accurately and focus on eliminating basic errors in verb tense and sentence construction.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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