Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many individuals think that music is essential role play of bringing people of different of cultures, castes and ages together. I partially agree agree with this viewpoint because music is a best way to live together with various cultures and there are also have some drawbacks, some artist make controversial songs.

On the one hand, numerous individuals like listening to music, they can consume thinks from musics. This is because people often listen songs such as rap, romantic music. Although, people should listen religion songs because they teach to them how to live together. As a result, it helps to finish discrimination in the world. Furthermore, it is improve people thinking because individuals always wrong think to each other. For instance, research say that nowadays people live very stressful life. Therefore, they always anger and fight to each other, but music is one of the most helpful way to reduce anger. because it helps to relax mind. Consequently, music teach how to live peacefully.

On the other hand, there are also creates challenges for them, because people are facing medical problems. The main reason for this that children often listen music on high volume. For that reason, children listening energy are decreasing. To illustrate, many American children use airpods for listening songs, but now there listening capacity are slightly rising.

To conclude, music help to people in different ways such as love with each other and also help reducing anger as well as stress, but there are also some creates problems. Hence, many children listeing capacity are ducing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the role of music in bringing people together, but the development of ideas is limited. While you provide a position, the arguments are often superficial and lack clear logical progression. For example, the transition from 'religious songs' to 'ending discrimination' is abrupt and lacks sufficient explanation. Furthermore, the second body paragraph shifts to the topic of hearing loss, which is only tangentially related to the prompt's focus on cultural and age-related unity. To improve, ensure that every paragraph directly supports your central thesis and provides concrete, well-explained examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas is frequently disrupted by mechanical and repetitive cohesive devices. Phrases like 'For that reason' and 'Consequently' are used, but they often connect ideas that do not logically follow one another. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the second paragraph where 'they' and 'it' are used without clear antecedents. The overall progression is difficult to follow because the sentences do not always link smoothly to the main argument of the paragraph. Improving the use of transition words and ensuring clear topic sentences would significantly enhance the coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive, which restricts your ability to express complex ideas. There are several instances of incorrect word choice and collocation, such as 'essential role play of bringing' instead of 'essential role in bringing' and 'listening energy are decreasing' instead of 'hearing capacity is declining'. You rely on basic vocabulary, and there is little evidence of less common lexical items or idiomatic expressions. To reach a higher band, focus on learning collocations and using more precise academic vocabulary to convey your meaning more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'many artist make', 'research say'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, making them difficult to parse. While there is an attempt to use complex structures, they are often inaccurate, such as 'there are also creates challenges'. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of auxiliary verbs, before attempting more complex grammatical forms.

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