Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

INTRODUCTION:

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.I agree with this statement that listening music some time is very necessary and it can bring us relax.

MAIN BODY PARAGRAPH 1:

Sometime when we face problems in our life we become very stress so we listen a song, peoples like different types of music some peoples like punjabi songs, indian songs, sads songs, when the people get breakup they usually hear sad songs the reason is that they think that this song is made for me, so after hearing a sad song a peron become relax and release tension, stress.

Some of the people like punjabi songs it is jsut because they also are punjabi and they know the punjabi language so they enjoy all words.

Moreover there is a Pashtun who do not like punjabi song the reason is that he do not know the punjabi language so he do not enjoy the punjabi songs.

MAIN BODY PARAGRAPH 2:

I think that music is a good way to attached different type of culture together.For example Attan is a traditional Pashtun/Pashto dance, usually performed at celebrations such as weddings.Attan may attach all pashtun together and celebrate together.

Usually songs attract a person.For example if there is a english song usually British people are attracted because they know english language and enjoying each word.

CONCLUSION:

I think that if a that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt but fails to fully develop the core argument regarding how music brings different cultures and ages together. While you mention that music can help people relax, the connection to 'bringing people together' is weak. The examples provided, such as Pashtun dances or language-specific songs, actually highlight how music can sometimes divide people based on cultural or linguistic barriers, rather than uniting them. To improve, you need to provide clear examples of how music acts as a universal language that bridges gaps between different age groups or diverse cultural backgrounds, rather than just focusing on personal preferences or individual relaxation.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is often disjointed. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'For example', they are sometimes used mechanically or incorrectly. The internal structure of the paragraphs is repetitive, particularly in the first body paragraph, where the focus shifts from stress relief to language barriers without a clear logical link. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a single, clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. You frequently use basic words like 'people', 'songs', and 'like'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'attached different type of culture' instead of 'connect different cultures' and 'a peron become relax' instead of 'a person feels relaxed'. To achieve a higher band score, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including synonyms and more precise academic collocations. Avoid repeating the same phrases and try to incorporate topic-specific vocabulary related to social cohesion, cultural exchange, and the emotional impact of music.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'he do not know'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are run-on or lack proper punctuation, such as 'Sometime when we face problems in our life we become very stress so we listen a song'. You rely heavily on simple sentence structures and struggle with complex grammatical forms. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct verb tenses and pluralization, before attempting more complex structures. Proofreading for basic errors like 'a peron' (person) and 'jsut' (just) is essential.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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