Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The ongoing debate on the importance of music. People argues that music is a bridge that helps people who belongs to different cultures and ages to collaborate with each. I strongly believe that various musical performances or traditions made a way to connecting variety of cultures .

Firstly, a group of people consider that music is a strong path to bring diverse cultures together. People from distinct background to communicate with one another through musical concerts. For example, recently lot of Indian people attended a well renowned singer of Pakistan name Atif Aslam which which brings two varying cultures at same place to share their thoughts through communication. Often youth prefer to join these performances.

In my opinion, Significantly songs plays important role in different cultures. A lot of traditions in culture unite socites. For example , during weddings many cultures like India , Pakistan, Turkey and others prefer to held musical night where people join to attend weeding. This night is called Qawali Night in Pakistan . Individual like to enjoy the music as well as connecting with people who belongs to other culture. In these traditions all ages people participates which draw a gigantic picture of unity.

In conclusion, music is paramount in every culture traditions because it help to connect people with distinct cultures during musical concerts and different traditions in the cultures. People love to join other countries music festivals due to curiosity and choice.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses the prompt by expressing a clear position on the role of music in bridging cultural and age gaps. However, the response is under the 250-word minimum, which limits the depth of the arguments. While the ideas are relevant, they are somewhat under-developed; for instance, the explanation of how music connects different ages is mentioned but not fully explored with specific examples. The conclusion is also quite brief. To improve, you should expand on your examples and ensure that your arguments are fully supported to meet the length requirement and provide a more comprehensive analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In my opinion', and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the connection between ideas is slightly disjointed. For example, the transition between the general statement about music and the specific example of Atif Aslam could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'paramount', 'diverse', and 'renowned'. However, there are several word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'made a way to connecting' instead of 'paved the way for connecting', and 'held musical night' instead of 'hold musical nights'. Some phrasing is repetitive, and there is a lack of more sophisticated, less common lexical items. To reach a higher band, focus on using collocations more accurately and incorporating a wider variety of precise vocabulary related to the topic of culture and social interaction.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('People argues', 'songs plays', 'Individual like'), article usage, and pluralization ('all ages people participates'). Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as unnecessary spaces before commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly subject-verb agreement and sentence construction, will significantly improve your score.

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