Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's world, music has become an integral part of people's lives. Some individuals believe that music can bring people together from different cultures and ages, which is a most covenient way. I largely disagree with this viewpoint. This essay will discuss my position with relevant examples.

To commence with, the main reason is that sports can also be considered as a biggest factor. To elaborate on this, many people may interested in different activities than music, because of their cravings, curiosity and desire to enjoy that particular activities. For example, cricket is one of the sports which may popular among the world, and multinational people may prefer to watch it together. Therefore, instrad of music, sports can also contribute to bring people of different cultures and ages.

Furthermore, people also get information about another country's cultures, traditions, and living habits by travelling, which provide better connection with international people. To explain this, international travelling allows people to experience different cultures, and sometimes they may spread awareness of their native region, which can establish connection between two opposite culture. As a result, travelling can also help people connect together from multinations.

Nevertheless, some people think that music is more efficient way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together because they believe that music provides relaxation and a sense of purpose, which may provide better feelings and emotions. For instance, international music concerts can give better experience of bringing same hobby lover together. Consequently, people can attract towards to music from different countries.

To recapitulate, I largely disagree that music is only a good way because sports, travelling and several other factors which can bring people together from various cultures and different ages. However, music lovers may also contribute to this viewpoint.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position of disagreement. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention sports and travel as alternatives, the connection back to the prompt—specifically why these are better than music—is not fully explored. The argument relies on listing alternatives rather than deeply analyzing the extent to which music acts as a bridge. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph directly supports your thesis by explaining the 'why' and 'how' more thoroughly, rather than just stating that other factors exist. The conclusion is a bit repetitive and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'To commence with,' 'Furthermore,' and 'Nevertheless' to signal transitions. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the logical progression within paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the idea of sports and the conclusion of that paragraph feels slightly abrupt. Referencing is generally clear, but the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that ideas build upon one another more naturally would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'multinational,' 'traditions,' and 'concerts.' However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and minor errors, such as 'most covenient' (spelling error: convenient), 'multinational people' (incorrect collocation), and 'attract towards to' (grammatical error). The range of vocabulary is sufficient to communicate, but it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more precise academic vocabulary to replace generic phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'many people may interested in' (missing 'be'), 'cricket is one of the sports which may popular' (missing 'be'), and 'instead of music, sports can also contribute to bring' (should be 'contribute to bringing'). Punctuation is mostly correct, but the frequency of errors in verb forms and sentence construction prevents the writing from being considered error-free. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of infinitives/gerunds after specific verbs will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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